#all these hardworking women in the community who will just be TALKING about their experiences at hair salons
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blackbackedjackal · 1 year ago
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As a Gévaudan Lycan, June’s design is supposed to give off an unknowable and melancholy energy.
Gévaudan Lycans are mimics, and their emotions alter their form, especially if they have little to no control of themselves when they shift.
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The way June was changed into a lycan and her experience during first shift were extremely traumatic, and over time, her lycan form reflected her feelings of loss and self-loathing. She fronts as this charming and confident woman, while holding back her deeper emotions that eventually leached into the form that reflects her true self.
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Fear, sadness, loss, and rage all mixed into this one entity she cannot control. Once a month, she's forced into facing all of those emotions, reliving that trauma again and again for nearly 30 years.
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berlinini · 3 years ago
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Hi I am a solo louie
But I don't like how these solo louies or especially rads idk ..also , like larries assume about louis sexuality and partner and his personal life more than his career. And as a artist
Like this weird and creepy talks that how louis is with a man or louis is a bottom like and how some hot wealthy macho man mr o is taking care of louis as if he is a tiny lost bottom like it so uncomfortable and cringe just like larries theories are cringe and delusional
As a fan we should only hype louis and his music and his career not make theories and fantasies abt him and his personal life according to what u like and want louis to be which ironllly is opposite to what louis actually is we should appreciate him as actual him not what u think he is in ur fantasy abt him
Like in the end only real louis and his music matters
Not theories about him and his personal life or sexuality or if he is with harryor he is bottom being taken care of or has an actual girlfriend who he takes care of and loves or his child or anything else
Just him his kindness his heart his strength his struggles his love his hardworking his career his success matters not how he is 100 percent gay or bi or has a girlfriend or a boyfriend or how he is with every men or not with women
Like I don't have interest in his sexuality or love life but I would always love and support him whether he s gay or straight or with man or woman
Cuz its not our place to theorize or assume
Just hype and love him
I k it may sound a bit bad
But its just am really protective of louis and just want his happiness and success
And when I see all these assumptions abt him by his apparent fans it's just I get upset cuz I want to see support for him and his music
Like the lack of promo and support by the industry and radio is so upsetting and now seeing his fans being more interested in his personal life rather than about his music like see his stream nos
So yeah just ranting but ig it's just me who purely supports him for who he is and wants to be and achieve and not any version of him which his fans make in order to like him
Hi, thank you for your message! Replying under the cut because of the length of the ask and my answer. This is going EVERYWHERE and gets quite philosophical on fandom stuff so beware.
I totally agree that Louis is a musician and fans should first and foremost be there for Louis' music. However, as with any celebrity, you may be more or less inclined to follow their personal lives - maybe there's an artist that you follow on IG, that you have a bit more interest in (you read or watch their interviews, you keep up to date with their projects), while there may be some others for which you don't care to do that - you listen to their music or watch their movies and only care about their art without feeling the need to "discover" who that person is and that's totally OK.
Personally, this is my first "fandom" experience in the sense that I've joined a community of fellow fans (the best <3 louies <3). I have a few celebrities that I've followed a bit closer over the years. And I would say that it's a double edge sword. For example, I'm a huge fan of Lorde's music but knew literally nothing about her. Now I've seen the press for Solar Power and was very put off by some of the things she said and now my perception of her as an artist and the way I consumed the album has changed. That's why they say never meet your idols - there is a difference between the public personality and the "true" person. Anyways I disgress.
My point is that if you're in the fandom, be it via tumblr or twitter or whatever, you're interacting with people who have a lot of interest in Louis. And sadly a lot of that interest revolves around his personal life. But as @seasurfacefullofclouds1 aptly pointed out in a post yesterday, Louis' personal life has been weaponized against him and so fandom's obsession over that also plays against him. But at the same time, it's only "natural" for the fandom to have done so - because that was the narrative that Louis was "given" - Larry, Eleanor, Freddie - with a PR strategy that revolved around that and that only and not his music or artistic aspirations. Louis was never allowed a "normal" career and with all the time that it took for his solo career to launch it left a void of professional music-related content, and only left his personal life to be consumed by fans. Bring into that 1DHQ/HSHQ feeding the Larry narrative - again, to the detriment of Louis. (all of this is based on my understanding of the situation as I was not in fandom at the time)
Now, is fandom going too far with all the speculations about his personal life - his sexuality, his partner, etc.? I'd say a big yes, but that goes back to the beginning of the Larry narrative in 1D (and the other ships in the band). However, for me, there are levels of invasiveness. It's my understanding that Larries have been pretty intense ("investigating" the boys' schedules, travels, etc during 1D) and keep doing so - analyzing every lyrics and piece of clothing to fit their narratives. On the other hand I'd argue that the Mr. O lore has always been "light" - we don't know who that is, what he looks like and we're just happy to imagine Louis with a loving partner. I don't know a fellow Louie who sometimes daydreams about Mr. O whose love for Louis revolves around that fixed idea. The solo louies that I know (and some of them are rad whatever that means) are here for Louis before anything and while we make fun of his love for bald men, none of us is expecting Louis to share anything about his personal life. We just want to know that he's happy. For me, it's pretty clear the Louis is a very private person - understandably because of all the shit he had to endure - and everyone I appreciate in this fandom is OK with that. I'd argue that "rads" are actually the part of the fandom that focuses the most on Louis' career - they know so much about its history, the fuck ups, the facts. So what if sometimes we have a little bit of fun talking about Louis being driven around by Mr. O? Our blogs are not focused on that. (Literally, I thought of making a Mr. O-centered blog for fun, and every mutual that I asked if it was going too far shared my concerns that we don't want a Larry 2.0 and should keep the focus on Louis' music - so please don't put us in the same basket lol)
Another thing you mentioned is the top/bottom debate, which I agree is extremely invasive. Honestly, and I'm gonna try to put this politely, for me this comes from the literal imaginary versions of Louis (and Harry, etc.) that stems from fan fiction. Obviously fan fiction is huge part of this fandom (and others). I think that as long as you consume fan fiction for what it is - fiction - it's totally OK. I have been reading really nice fics and love the work that the authors are doing. But when I look at Louis Tomlinson the artist I'm able to differentiate between what I see and the different versions of him that exists in my head from all these stories. I've said many times before that I believe Larries are stuck with an imaginary version of Harry ("cupcake Harry") that comes from how he was very young and from all the fics in which he's this adorable cute boy and not someone who would fire his musician before tour without an explanation. For example, someone recently shared this post and I was very uncomfortable with the literal fanfic that they wrote in the tags. It's different when it's contextualized on A03 - but to be comfortable saying all this like this, it's crossing a line - but again, it's a line that's been crossed already in this fandom. It's complex stuff honestly, I don't want to come across as the thought police lol.
Look maybe I'm totally wrong about that, but for me, consuming too much fandom stuff (fics, discourse, etc) will blur the lines and it's important to always remind yourself that you, in fact, do not know Louis Tomlinson. You know a public version of him, you know what you can see, through his actions, the values he shows, his lyrics, but those are parts of him and they are meant to be seen. You can decide what you focus on.
But in the end, as you say, you should be here for Louis' music. There is no reason to be here if you dislike his music and are only here for him "as a person" - it's really weird, because again, you don't know him. An anon sent me this Big Larry's post a while ago saying "the cult is first and the music ifs second" (I never answered them rip). I quote the post: "In my opinion, being a larrie means you’re supporting them both as queer and closeted human beings who deserve better. Whether you like the style of music they each create, is secondary." I SCREAMED reading this. There is no reasons to stan Louis and Harry for being queer and closeted. You being their fan will not change their situation (real or imagined)(Larries have a big victim fetish but that's another story). Louis is not asking you to be his fan because of his sexuality or his closet. Louis is A MUSICIAN who wants to MAKE MUSIC and be in the public's eyes FOR HIS ARTISTIC ASPIRATIONS. Which is why we've been saying that Larries actually hate Louis - because they keep pushing him into their narrative in which he's a shadow of Harry and doesn't even want to make music - which is very much false.
So I totally agree with your feeling. I'm sure that the festival and the soon to come LT2 will allow us to focus on Louis' music once again. As a someone navigating fandom, I think it's important to understand how fandom works and how it also influences you, your opinion and your experience as a fan (and how it can be manipulated). A healthy dose of criticism is always good - which I see you have! If this is getting too much, you can always step back a little - and enjoy Louis' music, which is the best :)
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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 3 years ago
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LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
September 11, 2021
Heather Cox Richardson
On the twentieth anniversary of the day terrorists from the al-Qaeda network used four civilian airplanes as weapons against the United States, the weather was eerily similar to the bright, clear blue sky of what has come to be known as 9/11. George W. Bush, who was president on that horrific day, spoke in Pennsylvania at a memorial for the passengers of United Airlines Flight 93 who, on September 11, 2001, stormed the cockpit and brought their airplane down in a field, killing everyone on board but denying the terrorists a fourth American trophy.
Former president Bush said: “Twenty years ago, terrorists chose a random group of Americans, on a routine flight, to be collateral damage in a spectacular act of terror. The 33 passengers and 7 crew of Flight 93 could have been any group of citizens selected by fate. In a sense, they stood in for us all.” And, Bush continued, “The terrorists soon discovered that a random group of Americans is an exceptional group of people. Facing an impossible circumstance, they comforted their loved ones by phone, braced each other for action, and defeated the designs of evil.”
Recalling his experience that day, Bush talked of “the America I know.”
“On America's day of trial and grief, I saw millions of people instinctively grab for a neighbor's hand and rally to the cause of one another…. At a time when religious bigotry might have flowed freely, I saw Americans reject prejudice and embrace people of Muslim faith…. At a time when nativism could have stirred hatred and violence against people perceived as outsiders, I saw Americans reaffirm their welcome to immigrants and refugees…. At a time when some viewed the rising generation as individualistic and decadent, I saw young people embrace an ethic of service and rise to selfless action.”
Today’s commemorations of that tragic day almost a generation ago seemed to celebrate exactly what Bush did: the selfless heroism and care for others shown by those like Welles Crowther, the man in the red bandana, who helped others out of danger before succumbing himself; the airplane passengers who called their loved ones to say goodbye; neighbors; firefighters; law enforcement officers; the men and women who volunteered for military service after the attack.
That day, and our memories of it, show American democracy at its best: ordinary Americans putting in the work, even at its dirtiest and most dangerous, to take care of each other.
It is this America we commemorate today.
But even in 2001, that America was under siege by those who distrusted the same democracy today’s events commemorated. Those people, concentrated in the Republican Party, worried that permitting all Americans to have a say in their government would lead to “socialism”: minorities and women would demand government programs paid for with tax dollars collected from hardworking people—usually, white men. They wanted to slash taxes and government regulations, giving individuals the “freedom” to do as they wished.
In 1986, they had begun to talk about purifying the vote; when the Democrats in 1993 passed the so-called Motor Voter law permitting people to register to vote at certain government offices, they claimed that Democrats were buying votes. The next year, Republicans began to claim that Democrats won elections through fraud, and in 1998, the Florida legislature passed a voter ID law that led to a purge of as many as 100,000 voters from the system before the election of 2000, resulting in what the United States Commission on Civil Rights called “an extraordinarily high and inexcusable level of disenfranchisement,” particularly of African American voters.
It was that election that put George W. Bush in the White House, despite his losing the popular vote to Democrat Al Gore by more than a half a million votes.
Bush had run on the promise he would be “a uniter, not a divider,” but as soon as he took office, he advanced the worldview of those who distrusted democracy. He slashed government programs and in June pushed a $1.3 trillion cut through Congress. These measures increased the deficit without spurring the economy, and voters were beginning to sour on a presidency that had been precarious since its controversial beginnings.
On the morning of September 11, 2001, hours before the planes hit the Twin Towers, a New York Times editorial announced: “There is a whiff of panic in the air.”
And then the planes hit.
“In our grief and anger we have found our mission and our moment,” Bush said. America had seemed to drift since the Cold War had ended twelve years before, but now the country was in a new death struggle, against an even more implacable foe. To defeat the nation’s enemies, America must defend free enterprise and Christianity at all costs.
In the wake of the attacks, Bush’s popularity soared to 90 percent. He and his advisers saw that popularity as a mandate to change America, and the world, according to their own ideology. “Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists,” he announced.
Immediately, the administration focused on strengthening business. It shored up the airline industry and, at the advice of oil industry executives, deregulated the oil industry and increased drilling. By the end of the year, Congress had appropriated more than $350 billion for the military and homeland security, but that money would not go to established state and local organizations; it would go to new federal programs run by administration loyalists. Bush’s proposed $2.13 trillion 2003 budget increased military spending by $48 billion while slashing highway funding, environmental initiatives, job training, and other domestic spending. It would throw the budget $401 billion in the red. Republicans attacked any opposition as an attack on “the homeland.”
The military response to the attacks also turned ideological quickly. As soon as he heard about the attacks, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld asked his aides to see if there was enough evidence to “hit” Iraqi president Saddam Hussein as well as al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden. In fact, Saddam had not been involved in the attack on America: the al-Qaeda terrorists of 9/11 were from Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and the United Arab Emirates.
Rumsfeld was trying to fit the events of 911 into the worldview of the so-called neocons who had come together in 1997 to complain that President Bill Clinton’s foreign policy was “incoherent” and to demand that the U.S. take international preeminence in the wake of the Cold War. They demanded significantly increased defense spending and American-backed “regime change” in countries that did not have “political and economic freedom.” They wanted to see a world order “friendly to our security, our prosperity, and our principles.”
After 9/11, Bush launched rocket attacks on the Taliban government of Afghanistan that had provided a safe haven for al-Qaeda, successfully overthrowing it before the end of the year. But then the administration undertook to reorder the Middle East in America's image. In 2002, it announced that the U.S. would no longer simply try to contain our enemies as President Harry S. Truman had planned, or to fund their opponents as President Ronald Reagan had done, but to strike nations suspected of planning attacks on the U.S. preemptively: the so-called Bush Doctrine. In 2003, after setting up a pro-American government in Afghanistan, the administration invaded Iraq.
By 2004, the administration was so deeply entrenched in its own ideology that a senior adviser to Bush told journalist Ron Suskind that people like him—Suskind—were in “the reality-based community”: they believed people could find solutions based on their observations and careful study of discernible reality. But, the aide continued, such a worldview was obsolete. “That’s not the way the world really works anymore.… We are an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors…and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.”
The 9/11 attacks enabled Republicans to tar those who questioned the administration's economic or foreign policies as un-American: either socialists or traitors making the nation vulnerable to terrorist attacks. Surely, such people should not have a voice at the polls. Republican gerrymandering and voter suppression began to shut Democratic voices out of our government, aided by a series of Supreme Court decisions. In 2010, the court opened the floodgates of corporate money into our elections to sway voters; in 2013, it gutted the 1965 Voting Rights Act; in 2021, it said that election laws that affected different groups of voters unevenly were not unconstitutional.
And now we grapple with the logical extension of that argument as a former Republican president claims he won the 2020 election because, all evidence to the contrary, Democratic votes were fraudulent.
Today, former president Bush called out the similarities between today’s domestic terrorists who attacked our Capitol to overthrow our government on January 6 and the terrorists of 9/11. “There is little cultural overlap between violent extremists abroad and violent extremists at home, “he said. “But in their disdain for pluralism, in their disregard for human life, in their determination to defile national symbols, they are children of the same foul spirit. And it is our continuing duty to confront them.”
In doing so, we can take guidance from the passengers on Flight 93, who demonstrated as profoundly as it is possible to do what confronting such an ideology means. While we cannot know for certain what happened on that plane on that fateful day, investigators believe that before the passengers of Flight 93 stormed the cockpit, throwing themselves between the terrorists and our government, and downed the plane, they all took a vote.
---
Notes:
https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/11/politics/transcript-george-w-bush-speech-09-11-2021/index.html
https://web.archive.org/web/20050205041635/http://www.newamericancentury.org/statementofprinciples.htm
http://www.historycommons.org/entity.jsp?entity=project_for_the_new_american_century
LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
HEATHER COX RICHARDSON
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honeybunny-sawamura · 4 years ago
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Chapter 1: First Meeting
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: Mentions of harassment (nothing in detail)
Word Count: 1.7k
Author Note: yaho everyone! im celebrating my hubby’s birthday by indulging in my self ship! 💝 with an OC heheh this is my first time doing self shipping OxO i hope you like the stories i have ready
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Daichi Sawamura will try and say he doesn’t believe in love at first sight. That yes, he can appreciate someone’s good looks at first glance, but to truly fall in love with someone he needs to get to know them. Only when he has seen all their hidden quirks, knows their favorites and inspirations, and can immediately distinguish their voice in a crowded room will he know that he’s absolutely in love with that person.
But… He’ll never forget the moment she first took his breath away.
There had been a string of harassments happening at the city’s skating arena. Apparently, it started off with it just being verbal, but things started to get physical and the perpetrator had not yet been caught. Officer Daichi Sawamura was accompanying Detective Takei, a hardworking man he respected, to meet up with the person who had called in for someone to investigate and catch the person(s) responsible. Daichi didn’t normally patrol this area but he had heard of some of the cases from a colleague. The victims were often young women and it always happened around nighttime when the perp could hide in the shadows. It was starting to affect the community and people were getting anxious; especially with the regional skating competitions coming up soon. Hearing all of this brought out Daichi’s protective nature and he already made it a priority to make sure that they catch whoever was harassing these innocent people. Detective Takei let out an amused snort at the determination set in Daichi’s features, knowing he picked the right officer to accompany him.
The two men enter the skating arena and shiver at the chill that hit them; the inside is way colder than the weather outside. There aren’t many people around: only four to five skaters with their coaches and a couple of others who could be friends or supporters. They’re all sitting in the stands, scattered about but close enough to chat with one another. The ice rink itself is void of any skaters which is surprising since the detective and officer had been informed that the competition is in a month or so and that practices were happening almost every day at every hour.
“We’re looking for a Mrs. Bessho. A middle-aged woman, somewhere between her 50s I believe. Taller than most her age, quite thin, and brown permed hair. She’s a coach to a young female figure skater.” Detective Takei tells Daichi as they scan the place for someone that fits that description while taking in anyone they think looks suspicious. They slowly make their way down the steps and closer to the ice rink, giving a curt nod at those who look their way. Daichi thinks he spots someone fitting Mrs. Bessho’s description standing at the rink’s sideline talking to a young woman all dressed up to perform. He points out the woman to the detective, who nods, and they both briskly descend the stands. They were just a few rows away from reaching Mrs. Bessho when music starts to fill the arena and the occupied stands bursts with cheering and hollering. The young lady who Mrs. Bessho was talking to, happily waves over to her small audience and then skates away from the sidelines. She takes a leisure lap around the rink, swaying a tad to the music, before heading to the middle of the ice.
“Might as well enjoy the performance.” Huffs the older man to Daichi, leaning on one of the seats at the end of the row. A hush settles over the ice as the music fades out and the figure skater sets herself in position, serene and confidence all in her pose. There’s a silent pause for just a moment until a riff of quick piano notes opens up and the rehersal begins. Daichi couldn’t help but become mesmerized by the figure skater. How graceful she skims across the ice and how her every movement, down to even the flick of a wrist, seems to tell a story. His eyes follow her every glide and every jump makes his heart leap along, wondering if she’ll stick the landing; impressing him without fail when she always does. Daichi had seen figure skating performances before, his mother and little sisters loved watching the competitions on TV, but he’s never seen one in person until now. He can see the appeal of it and why people held high regards for the sport. Daichi himself couldn’t skate for his life and to see someone do it so effortlessly and beautifully with all those spins and jumps, he thinks he could watch this young woman skate for hours.
But it doesn’t last for too long and before Daichi knew it, things come to an end. The small audience cheers and whistles as the young woman on the ice bows and waves to them again, a triumphant smile on her face. He watches her scan the stands and giggle here and there at her friends; even from where he stood, he could tell she was quite pretty. The young officer couldn’t help but feel something electrify through him when her eyes land and linger on him. She blinks at him, tilting her head slightly in curiosity. The figure skater gives him a small but polite smile and a bow before she is called to the sidelines by her coach, Mrs. Bessho, who Daichi remembers he and the detective are here to talk to.
“Come on, let’s go.” Says Detective Takei, breaking Daichi from whatever trance he was in. He nods a bit jerkily and follows the older man to the sidelines where the coach and figure skater were.
“- was wonderful! But remember about the turns…”
“Mrs. Bessho?” the detective calls out and the two women turn their attention to them; the elder a bit annoyed with the interruption and raising an eyebrow at the two burly men.
“I’m Detective Takei and this is Officer Sawamura. We’re here about the harassment problems you called about.” Mrs. Bessho’s face morphs from irritation to realization.
“Ah, of course! We spoke yesterday afternoon. Yes, I am Mrs. Sakura Bessho. And this is my protegee, Nozomi Hoshikai. She has had a run in with the harasser before, right dear?” The older woman introduces while the girl bows in a formal greeting. Daichi tries her name out in his head, ‘Miss Nozomi Hoshikai’ and he finds it sounds quite nice.
“Well, we’d like to take any information you have so we can pursue further with the case.” the detective pries.
“Oh, heavens! Where do I start?” exclaims Mrs. Bessho before spilling everything she knew and heard of. As she and Detective Takei talk, Daichi busies himself by taking notes but he’s a little distracted. His eyes keep drifting over to Miss Hoshikai, who nods every so often as her coach goes on. Daichi takes in her inky black hair that’s tied in a bun with a few ornaments adorning it. Her eyes were so dark, almost looking black if it were for the arena’s lights above to illuminate the brown hue in them. And a soft pink color dusted her beige cheeks; was it from the chill of the ice rink or from the exertion from the performance just now Daichi wasn’t sure. Noticing he was staring a bit too long, Daichi shakes his head a little to snap out of it and goes back to taking notes. But when his gaze goes back to Miss Hoshikai, his eyes meet hers. Both of them blink in surprise and turn away with cheeks growing warm in being caught looking at the other. Daichi clears his throat and interjects the older pair with having Nozomi recount her confrontation with the harasser.
“We’d like to hear your encounter with them, if that’s alright Miss Hoshikai?” he asks politely. Something tickles in his chest when the pink on the skater’s cheeks grow a tad darker. Unbeknownst to him, Nozomi likes the way he says her name. She complies and tells her story. While she does so, a frown grows on Daichi’s face as well as the need to protect gets stronger. Even though no real harm came upon her and Nozomi dismisses her experience with a “It’s not as bad as what the other girls experienced…” Daichi can’t help but get a tad upset and reply,
“Regardless! You shouldn’t have gone through that. You nor anyone else.” Nozomi is slightly taken aback by the officer’s words; honestly touched that this kind officer refuses to brush off her frightening ordeal.  She gives him a soft smile in gratitude, and it brings back that tickle in his chest.
“Thank you…” she tells him. Detective Takei and Mrs. Bessho wrap up with a few more statements. Once he and Daichi have all that they can get from the two women, they decide to part from them and go ask the people around what they knew. The stands had cleared out while they had been talking but the older woman assures them that the others were probably in the lobby or outside.
“Thank you. We’ll see to it that the perpetrator gets caught once and for all.” the detective, along with Daichi, nod reassuringly.
“Thank you both for coming today and taking on this case. If we get anymore information, we’ll contact you.” Mrs. Bessho responds. The two men bow and when Daichi comes up, he notices that the young figure skater looks like she wants to say something but doesn’t know how to go about it. She opens and closes her mouth a few times then brings a hand to her mouth as if to ponder on what to say. Her brows are furrowed in what looks like anxiousness and the officer thinks back to her dreadful encounter that she had shared with them.
“If you ever need help, please… Don’t be afraid to call the precinct and ask for me.” Daichi offers to the young lady. He can only imagine how scared she and the others must be. If he can be of any solace to her, he’d do so in a heartbeat. Relief settles onto her features and she gives him a small nod,
“Thank you… Officer Sawamura.”
“I’m happy to help, Miss Hoshikai.”
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Taglist: @tsumtsumland​ @ceo-of-daichi​ @daichis-kitty​ @karasimpno​
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thedreadvampy · 4 years ago
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So this was sent to me by @atiredpan weeks ago when the White Jon conversation was very live and I'm posting it (belatedly) with their blessing (they didn't want to put it up publicly and have it seem like an attack which I really very much appreciate but wouldn't have minded) and I percolated for a few days and then got very busy for a few weeks. Response follows.
So I feel weird about how I'm responding to this stuff, I'm launching rapidly into taking about/explaining my own experience in a way I'm worried maybe comes across as a direct comparison. It kind of feels like I'm talking in a way that's like brushing off your experience and saying OK BUT HERE'S WHY I'M RIGHT and that's not what I'm trying to do, it's just that there's not much I can usefully add to what you've said - you know your experience better than I do, and I'm not gonna go around trying to read into it or reexplain it. So I'm going to talk about where I am/have been coming from, but not with the intention of countering your points, all of which I think really resonate.
First off, the post where I was like "Jon is white and if you disagree you're Wrong" was, unreservedly, just a shitty post and I'm not suprised it upset a lot of people. I'm really very sorry about that, it was thoughtlessly written and pretty stupidly posted.
I totally get that my whiteness has fed into how I hced Jon (and as I think I've said before I saw Jon a certain way well before I engaged with any fanworks, just as you did). There's a lot of reasons I imagined Jon as white from pretty early on, a non-negligible one of which was like...That's Jonny. This is a podcast by Jonny, about a character with the same name and mannerisms as Jonny, and Jonny is extremely white. It would have felt weird, when I was listening to TMA as a Friend Podcast, to stick a brown face onto what at least appeared at the time to basically be a self-insert character of my white friend. Now that's a really personal thing informed less by the story and more by the circumstances under which I've interacted with it, but it certainly laid a baseline. I didn't really have a clear mental picture of Jon (or most of the characters) for a looooooong time (for an artist I'm really not a very visual thinker) but I had a few sort of mental sketches (Jon is short white balding and awkward, Martin is tall biracial and scruffy Basira is fat and somali Melanie is my friend from work etc) which I developed a long time before I encountered fanworks.
I saw the alienation you mentioned and I connected it to class and gender, not race, because I’ve met a lot of cis men, white and otherwise, who interpolate trauma, class insecurity, insecurity about their own abilities, and so on into withdrawal, denial and snappiness. So for me I had an interpretation of that element of his personality which was pretty much race-neutral, and then I had these existing cues leading me to assuming he was white (largely that Jonny is white, but also wee stuff in the story that...it’s not like anything substantial enough to remember, let alone justify, but there were certainly interactions that pinged whiteness for me personally)
There are actually iirc a few throwaway references to Jon being promoted above more qualified candidates throughout (or at least I thought I knew that before s5), but the time I decided I thought White Jon was an obvious conclusion was of course the conversation where Sasha expresses frustration about it. and the context of that conclusion (at least as far as I can see) wasn't "people of colour can only exist in subservient positions/defined by oppression" but was informed by two things that were going on with my life around the time that episode aired
I had been having several conversations with friends of mine (and largely friends of Jonny's) who work in London in the museums/archiving sector and who are the only women of colour in whole departments or even whole museums, and who experience so little career mobility compared to their less-qualified white counterparts (we're talking about women graduating top of their class at Oxbridge with anthropology or library science masters and stellar original research, with a decade or more of impeccable work experience and acting up, being left in internship and low-grade positions, while white men who "fit the culture" but have 0 museums experience sail into upper management positions and then stay there until they retire). So I'd come almost directly from these conversations into what to me sounded like exactly the same gripe in TMA.
I'd been at that point working for about a year and a half on co-coordinating the anti-oppression committee in my workplace, which was a very Good Progressive Activist Charity with Good Lefty Principles, and over the course of experience sharing and discussions both with colleagues of colour and along lines of wealth, disability, class etc, I was very much confronted with the realisation of how much 'being adequately qualified' meant different things for middle-class good-university white men vs much more highly skilled and hardworking women of colour or people of different class and wealth backgrounds. Obviously I'd known that before in principle, but not really having been in Salaried Workplaces (as opposed to like. service and retail hourlies) I hadn’t got so up close and personal with it. So that was also very fresh in my mind, this like...big substantial experience of how Good, Well-Meaning, Caring, Thoughtful, Woke white men just........did not need to think about this. at all. and were startled and discomforted to face it. and that this was also true of most white middle-class women. and these conversations were really carved down the middle between white middle-class European women saying ‘this is such a surprise when we have such an equitable hiring policy and diverse staff, that there’s this gender gap’ and women of colour in the room wearily saying ‘yeah, there’s a gender gap, there’s always a gender gap and it is always a racialised gender gap’ so yeah I was definitely thinking about the intersection between being passed over at work because of gender and because of race.
The point about Tim is interesting because I think for me what’s getting lost is that I don’t think Jon is entitled as like...a Character Trait. He’s not like...Toxic Masculinity Man. He is very anxious about boundaries and about his own capacity to do harm. But it has to be pointed out to him where he’s doing harm. He doesn’t notice where he’s been unfairly advantaged, and that’s to me much more reflective of most people’s relationship to white or male entitlement. 
As I say, that exchange with Tim and Sasha cemented the Jon Is White hc in my head specifically because it was so reflective of conversations I had had with women of colour working in similar workplaces, about white men, usually about white men they generally liked or at least didn’t have beef with beyond their unfair advantages. 
It seems odd to me to frame ‘bitching about your boss on your friend’s behalf to make her feel better’ as more similar to white entitlement/white privilege than any of that tbh? That’s just...being friends with someone? 
Anyway I recognise that it’s not white entitlement to accept a job. Obviously it’s not, it’s just sensible under the circumstances, you get lucky and you grab it. For me my sense of Jon as white-because-of-this is not “he took a job he shouldn’t have taken,” it’s more about his obliviousness to the impact he has on others, and also primarily how people react to him. The interaction between Sasha and Tim is saturated with the of course it would be him I mentioned above, but even before that he walks through the world not expecting to have to think about anything but his conscious decisions, and he’s caught aback when people see him as out of place or as having power above his station.
I think it’s impossible to extricate ‘this is where my head was at’ from that interpretation, and also like obviously my own whiteness is a big factor. And not just my own personal whiteness but the place I grew up (which was 98.3% white) and the world which reflects back whiteness. So this is in no way intended as a bolshy This Is The Correct Headcanon the way my Bad Post was bc examining it I’m like...yeah I mean this is about how I personally interpreted this based on where I was at at the time. But I do feel like there’s some communication gap in what it is about this unqualified promotion thing that pinged me - it’s not that All Bosses Must Be White And All Brown People Must Be Downtrod, it’s something quite specific about the tone and tenor of the interactions around the getting-a-job.
But also? Idk. Kind of unrelatedly, and people obviously should feel free to disagree with me on this, it feels kind of off to frame this as defaulting to a white Jon? I sort of think that my idea of Jon as white is very much not ‘white until proven otherwise’ - part of the reason for my original strident tone was that I felt that I was being expected to drop a headcanon I had for specific reasons and default to the fanon version of Jon without actually having any reason other than ‘this is how the community thinks he should look,’ and without really understanding anything about what that means, and while obviously defaulting to a non-white headcanon isn’t like...entrenched in the way that defaulting to a white headcanon is, it does seem to me like this is perhaps part of why white fans slap brown skin onto a character without thinking into what that means or why they’re doing it.
The thing I’m struggling with as regards my personal headcanon here is that I could decide to only ever draw Jon as Fanon Jon, but it wouldn’t be because I had strong reasons to see him that way, it wouldn’t be the same as why you see Jon as brown, or why I see like...Melanie as Indian, it would literally be Default To Standard in a way it isn’t for you. And I don’t feel that I have Defaulted To Whiteness, or where I have it is for reasons specifically to do with Jon (I visualised Jon as white because I visualised him as Jonny, who is white), not because I think every character is White Until Proven Otherwise. Like, my reasons for understanding Jon as white may be bad reasons, but they are reasons, not post-hoc excuses (I can’t like...prove that. but I know it to be true at least on a conscious level). I didn’t go Oh Jon Is White Because Everyone Is Unless I Have Reason To Think They Aren’t, Hooray, Here Is A Post-Hoc Justification For Why It Isn’t Racist To Think That. So while I am totally on board with the idea that it may be shitty, harmful or poorly thought through to hc Jon as white, I’m not sure I can fully see it in myself as being default. But I do understand that that isn’t necessarily what came across in my original short post.
Honestly, the reason I took issue with Fanon Jon and Fanon Martin in such a bolshy way in the first place was that I didn’t get why these characters were universally seen as Asian and white, respectively, and had such strong and consistent fanon images, when none of the other characters did, and when I was seeing people drawing people like Sasha and Melanie and Tim as white way more when in my mind there was no reason to assume they were white. On an emotional level I guess I think either there’s Fanon As Lore, or there’s no fanon (and I prefer the latter) and my discomfort came from the place that the one character I absolutely saw as coded as white in the core cast had this one really specific Ambiguously Brown Fanon Look (which from what I’d seen at the time didn’t seem to be like...backed with anything or coming from any personal interpretation for most of the white fans I was seeing on like Twitter and Tumblr) but white headcanons are everywhere for characters like Melanie or Sasha or Georgie, who seemed to me to be unambiguously people of colour, or characters like Tim or Martin (who could perfectly reasonably be people of colour and who I hc as Rroma and biracial respectively)? I don’t know, it’s difficult to express, but I find it frustrating.
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mst3kproject · 5 years ago
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The Manster
Who has two thumbs and is back on terra firma with working wifi?  This MSTie!
As for my chosen subject this week… I don’t think I have to justify this one.  It’s called The Manster, as in a portmanteau of man and monster.  It was directed by a guy who mostly made cheap-ass jungle movies, and stars a bunch of embarrassed actors who don’t know how they ended up here.  It’s old and it’s dumb and it’s often pretty funny though never on purpose, and the perfect stinger moment comes very early in the film… you’ll know it when you see it.
So we have Dr. Robert Suzuki, who lives on top of a volcano.  When people have ‘Dr’ in front of their names and live in isolation with a bunch of blinky light machines, that’s usually a pretty good clue that they’re mad scientists. Tragically our hero, Larry Stanford, is not that observant (Larry’s obliviousness would have been a constant target for Mike and the bots and he would have deserved all of it).  He’s a reporter who wants an interview about Suzuki’s theories on the causes of mutations, but too bad for him, he arrives just as the mad doctor has run out of family members to experiment on.  Under the influence of Suzuki’s injections he’s soon devolving into an animalistic frat-boy, drinking, carousing, and murdering… oh, and he’s growing a second head. Will that be a problem?
So basically this is a werewolf movie with a fake mustache on… or perhaps a Jekyll and Hyde movie of sorts, as discussed in the denouement.  It wants to explore the dichotomy of good and evil in every one of us, using the very silly device of a two-headed man.  I have to say, I understand the metaphor, but it wasn’t put to nearly good enough use.  The movie would have been ten times more fun if we’d gotten to see Larry and his second head arguing over whether or not they’re going to kill somebody.  Not better, mind you, just more fun.
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As far as just being a movie goes, The Manster is better than a lot of things I’ve watched for this blog.  The characters have names and look different enough that you can tell them apart, the story makes sense on its own terms and everything that happens is relevant to the plot.  Photography is honestly pretty good and the actors are competent.  All this happens to be in the service of a really silly story with awful special effects (I love Larry’s rubbery second head bouncing as he runs) but it’s engaging enough that you want to keep watching.
What I really like about The Manster, however, is that it offers a lot to analyze.  I’m not sure much of it is intentional.  The Jekyll and Hyde side of the story is elucidated in an ending speech, as Larry’s friend Ian tries to reassure Mrs. Stanford.  He says there was good and evil in Larry, and they’ll just have to wait and see which side wins.  This is not a very satisfying ending, really.  We’ve just seen Larry’s evil side plummet to its death into a volcanic crater… and the surviving good side is under arrest as a serial killer.  Dr. Suzuki and his assistant, the only people who could testify that Larry was not responsible for his actions, are both dead.  This guy’s going to jail.
The really interesting thing in the movie, though, is one that comes up by accident.  Dr. Suzuki’s work is on evolution – his theory is that cosmic rays can induce mutations, producing new species more or less overnight (this is called ‘macromutation’ or ‘the hopeful monster theory’, and lurked on the edges of the mainstream in the 40’s and 50’s) and he hopes to induce the same effect chemically.  When he tries, however, his efforts invariably produce monsters.  Emiko, his wife and former research partner, turns into something resembling the closet monster from The Brain that Wouldn’t Die.  Kenji, his brother, turns into a yeti, and a similar fate awaits Larry.  These mutants cannot understand human speech, and their behaviour is irrational and violent.
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This implies a couple of things.  We hear vague mentions of Dr. Suzuki experimenting on fungi, but his heart is mostly in his human experiments.  That tells us that his goal is to speed up the evolution of humanity, and one presumes that this is intended to improve us somehow. Of course, this is not how evolution works.  Evolution does not make things better – this is why biologists have mostly dropped the descriptions primitive and advanced in favour of the more neutral basal and derived.  Dr. Suzuki’s quest is therefore quite misguided, as illustrated by his monsters. In no way could they be considered ‘better’ than humans – in fact, they’re significantly worse at surviving and reproducing (the thing natural selection selects for) than ordinary people are.
There’s another layer here, though.  ‘Evolution makes things better’ is a misconception that’s been around since Darwin, and dates back to even earlier ways of organizing the natural world.  When Linnaeus created the classification system for living things that we’re still saddled with today, he did it under the believe in the Great Chain of Being – the idea that you can order everything that exists into a hierarchy with mold at the bottom and god at the top, and that after god and the angels humans are the best thing that exists (as proved by our being the only creatures able to create classification systems).  It’s an idea that appeals to human vanity and to our need to impose order on the natural world, and it isn’t likely to go away anytime soon.
With that in mind, perhaps there’s another reason Suzuki’s experiments fail.  If you believe that humans are the best living thing around, particularly if you believe we are the image of god on earth, then maybe it’s not possible to improve on us.  Any change you make to people that takes them away from humanity will automatically make them worse.  This idea does appear to be manifest in the fates of Emiko, Kenji, and Larry, all of whom become more apelike, less ‘advanced’, as they change.
In that case, what does The Manster think makes for a good human?  We see a little of Larry before he starts to mutate, so we can compare that with what he becomes.  Rather surprisingly for a movie of this vintage, the fact that Larry is white seems to be pretty incidental.  He is a foreigner in a faraway place, but this serves mostly to drive a wedge between him and his wife Linda.  Except for a couple of rather troubling moments, the film does not present Japan in an exotifying light.  We do see things like a bathhouse and a geisha bar, but these represent Larry’s personal slide into debauchery, rather than the country as a whole.  We also meet normal working people among both the Japanese and the American expat community – reporters, police officers, and even priests.
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There’s a very nice bit, actually, where Larry comes upon a Buddhist priest praying, and when he realizes this man doesn’t speak English, Larry takes the opportunity to unburden himself.  It makes him feel better to talk about his moral quandaries aloud, and the fact that the priest doesn’t understand him means he cannot judge him.  This is a very relatable and human moment, one of the best in the movie.
Unfortunately, it also segues into a couple of the most distasteful things in the film.  As I’m sure you’ve guessed, Larry does murder the priest, but before he does, he stares at a particular statue in the shrine – a representation of a three-eyed, fanged being that I am in no position to identify, although it looks a bit like Vajrapani.  Before Larry grows a full second head he sprouts an extra eye in his shoulder, and the implication is that the three-eyed statue draws his attention to the monster within himself. I don’t know much about Buddhism but I do not like the idea of casting another culture’s religious figures as symbols of monstrosity.  The west has done plenty enough of that.
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But back to the question of acceptable humanity. We watch Larry get drunk, violent, antisocial, lazy, and promiscuous, which tells us that the ‘good’ man is the opposite of these things: sober, peaceful, friendly, hardworking, and chaste. The film pays particular attention to how Larry relates to women.  The fact that he’s been faithful to his distant wife is established early on, and one of the first symptoms of his devolution is his willingness to discard her.  First he makes out with a couple of girls at the geisha bar, and later he takes Dr. Suzuki’s assistant Terra (who has a tragic backstory but we frustratingly never find out what it entails) as his mistress. On the phone with his wife Linda at the beginning of the film, Larry tells her he loves her and promises to be home soon.  Later, when she comes to Japan searching for him, he shouts at her and makes a show of preferring Terra.
One conversation he has with Linda is particularly revealing.  He tells her he has no desire to settle down in one place and wile away his time drinking coffee and playing bridge when there’s a big wide world out there.  She asks him what about her plans, and he declares he will ‘put her in her place’ and ‘slap her down’.  Since this is when Larry is the opposite of what a good man should be, we can take from it that a good man respects his wife and takes her opinions and needs into account.  For the late fifties, this is actually kind of surprising – I’ve seen films from a decade or two later that were far more backward about this.  So hey, points for that.
All things considered, The Manster is a pretty well-made movie.  It’s dumb and full of clichés, such as the man scientist destroyed by his own creation, the femme fatale who sacrifices herself for the hero because she’s fallen in love with him, theremin music to represent the monster’s appearance, etc etc etc… but it’s competently put together and whether intentionally or no, contains a lot of interesting material. It’s the sort of movie I can watch repeatedly and always find something new in.  Definitely recommended viewing for the 50’s Monster Flick fan, although with the caveat that there is a scene in which one character urges another to commit suicide.
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tht-lesbian-fangirl · 4 years ago
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So I know there’s a lot of check boxes when it comes to casting cw version of batwoman. But this may be kind stupid of me to be curious of, but when people say keep kate Kane Jewish do they mean the actress or the actual character? And does the actress have to be lgbt or...? Because it gets confusing. What if they cast a Jewish actress but she’s not gay, and they cast a gay actress her she’s not gay? Is there a win/lose situation?
Hey anon, this is a complicated question that many people have many opinions on, so I'll preface my answer by saying this is my opinion as a Jewish lesbian; I speak for myself, not everyone who falls into either or both categories...
In an ideal world, the role of Batwoman would be recast as a talented Jewish lesbian who can easily step into the batsuit and make it work. Characters often come off more authentically when the actress behind the role can identify with core characteristics and drives. Unfortunately we don’t live in that world (not for lack of women like that I’m sure, but due to industry constraints, sexuality being a private thing for some actors, certain names “don’t hold enough weight” to carry a show, etc.). So speaking realistically, I just need an actress who is 100% committed to playing a Jewish lesbian, and can do it convincingly. (Before y’all get mad, please read the rest!!)
For me personally, “keeping Kate Jewish” is more about the character than the actress. What the show lacked in proper Jewish representation was more of a writing/production/promotion thing--and there were problems, which I talked about here. But god it would be NICE for a Jewish actress to take up the Batwoman mantel and be able to offer suggestions for how to boost that identity in her portrayal of Kate.
Regarding the LGBT aspect of it, I’m going to stay vague on examples because I don’t feel like pissing shippers off today, but we all know those sapphic characters and ships where the actresses are straight and their chemistry/intimacy is stale af. Many of us still watch and love those shows and pairings, but we’re aware that they don’t work as well. It’s also much harder for LGBT actors to earn roles, so giving the opportunity to a gay actress would be much better.
Yet, there are straight actresses who are able to convincingly fill the role of a sapphic woman. These situations are due to two major factors: the writing and the commitment. Two show examples I can think of off the top of my head are Gentleman Jack and Motherland: Fort Salem. Both of these shows have a talented, diverse writing team who worked hard to create the most authentic, deep material for their sapphic characters. Both of these shows also have actresses who are incredibly committed to their characters’ sexuality and life experience. Any interviews you watch or read with Suranne, Sophie, Taylor, and Amalia are always filled with understanding, compassion, and humor for their characters, their opposite castmate, and their relationship on and offscreen. Despite their (assumed) sexualities, Anne/Ann and Raelle/Scylla are electric pairings.
Caroline Dries has proven to be a creative, effective storyteller thus far on Batwoman. Her creative team is also diverse and we know they’re fully committed to Kate’s lesbian identity. So I trust them...
HOWEVER, Batwoman has already set a precedent by previously casting a member of the LGBT community. A standard that they probably shouldn’t back down from. It’s no secret that many fans weren’t too happy with Ruby (some fully dismissing the show because of her casting), but she was obviously a believable lesbian and built up the chemistry with every female love interest Kate was given, and her acting even improved throughout the season. So while I’m typically okay with a committed and convincing straight actress to take on an LGBT role with a creative team that knows what they’re doing, now I’m more conflicted. The best course of action for this show is to make sure the new actress is also part of the community (not just for the character, but also to avoid backlash that I’m certain will follow if the actress is straight). 
Will I be disappointed, but not surprised if she’s not Jewish too? Yes. Will I continue watching Batwoman? If the show truly stays this good and commits to keeping Kate a Jewish lesbian (hopefully digging more into her Jewish identity), then...probably. I guess I tend to cut a little more slack on casting and I've stuck with every Arrowverse show. It’s a hard situation to “win” and not everyone will be happy. All we can do is hope for the best, because Batwoman had an excellent first season and the rest of the cast is so caring, talented, and hardworking, and I want the show to succeed.
It’s not stupid at all for asking these questions, because intersectionality and representation are complicated issues that people are constantly debating (I’m sure at least one person is going to see my answer and completely disagree, and that’s okay). In fact, I think it’s great that you’ve sought out the opinion of a Jewish lesbian to answer it! I appreciate your curiosity and I’m interested to hear what you, or anyone else thinks��
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ateamare · 4 years ago
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An Open Letter to Corporate America
Dear Leadership in Corporate America,
I find it strikingly discriminatory that the standard internship opportunity is unpaid. Not only is this blatantly classist but it is also flat out racist; not providing pay for internships puts a barrier up for underprivileged students, who are typically people of color. Someone’s socioeconomic status should not hinder them from having reasonable access to a professional career that they are well qualified for. Marginalized students often work hard and dedicate their time and effort into getting the best grades they can to “make it” in this world, yet they are often denied the opportunity because they cannot get the job they worked so hard to be qualified for. They cannot get the job because of their upbringing. They cannot get the job because they had to work while attending school just to get by. They cannot get the job because they had to work full-time to help their families. They cannot get the job because it is unpaid. They cannot get the job because of YOU.
I have a question: Do you know what privilege is? I’m sure you’re “well versed” on the term but let me break it down for you anyway. Privilege is affording opportunities to people while denying them to others. It is not looking at things from an outsider’s perspective because the outcome simply does not affect you. It is ignoring the fact that people of all backgrounds are deserving of equal opportunities. By not offering paid internships, you are inevitably hurting yourselves; not only are you enforcing a lack of diversity in the workplace, but you are also missing out on the chance to bring in hardworking, well qualified students that could further enrich your company. By not offering paid internships, you are allowing the systemic oppression that has plagued America for so long to continue in this world. You are allowing hundreds of applicants to walk out the door before even stepping in; many students take one look at an application and read the word “unpaid” and wistfully click out of the tab. They move on to the next hundred applications, sifting through application after application, in hopes of finding the one that does not contain that six-letter slap in the face.  
Before you come after me with your #AllLivesMatter points, I am not saying that there aren’t underprivileged white people in America, nor am I saying that privileged people aren’t just as deserving. I am stating the fact that underprivileged students, who typically come from marginalized communities, deserve the chance at an equal opportunity. They deserve to be seen and by not offering compensation for internships, these students are invisible to you. Their resumes and applications go unseen because the student does not apply, because they do not have access to reliable transportation or housing, or because the job requires full-time commitment which denies them of the opportunity of getting a part-time job. Let us dive into a stock example of what it truly means to deny marginalized people equal opportunities, maybe then you’ll take a deeper look at yourselves and what you are doing to so many students across America.
Setting. Analise Lopez and Alexis Smith are at a Career Fair at their University. They run into each other at a table for a well-known Public Relations Firm in Downtown Dallas. They are acquaintances but have only spoken to each other in a social setting. Analise Lopez is a Chicana student from a lower middle-class background who attends the University on scholarship, her father is not in the picture and her mother works 50+ hours a week as a healthcare worker. She has dreamed of this opportunity since she decided to major in Public Relations. Alexis Smith is a white student from an upper-class background whose parents currently pay for her tuition and expenses, her father works for an accredited law firm and her mother is a homemaker. She wants to work for a Public Relations Firm to be in the city and get away from her hometown. Both women really want to work for the PR Firm and have the qualifications needed to apply. Analise is a 4.0 student with work experience who has created her own mock website to present to the firm and Alexis is a 3.0 student without work experience who has not put thought into the interview because of her close relationship to the firm.
Alexis: Oh my goodness, it’s so nice to run into a familiar face! Are you applying for the internship here too? I think the open interviews are next Monday!
Analise: Hey girl! I am, I’ve been wanting to apply for a while so I’m so excited they have a table here!
Alexis: Right! My dad is close friends with the CFO so I’m sure he worked some magic to get them here. I’ve literally wanted to work for John for forever so I cannot wait. He’s such a cool guy! Ugh, and I just can’t wait to live in the city! Are you planning on getting a place in downtown if you get the job?
Analise: I don’t know about downtown but I’ll probably try to live as close to the city as possible. Getting to use the DART is going to be so convenient with it being a full-time internship. But it honestly depends on how much they pay though… [flips flyer over] I don’t see that anywhere on the flyer.
Alexis: Oh! It’s actually unpaid. I thought you knew? I’m sure you can find a place close by though, girl! There are SO many cute apartments in the city. Plus, you can always ask your parents to help. I talked my dad into getting Jen and I an apartment super close to the office so maybe your parents will too! [overly excited] OMG! And we could meet for happy hours! That would be so much fun!
Analise: [stunned and embarrassed at not knowing the internship was unpaid] Oh. Yeah, that would be so fun…I’ve got to go change for work. I’ll see you later, okay?
Alexis: Okay, girl! See you at the interview!
[Analise throws the flyer in the trashcan as she exits the building]
Although this is clearly a stock story, it depicts the very real experience of so many students at universities across America. Analise is a well-qualified student whose resume could have possibly exceeded many other applicants’ yet because the internship was unpaid, she didn’t even bother applying. She knew that an unpaid 40-hour work week was not an option for her, though she tried playing several scenarios in her head of making it work. Had she gotten the job, she would have had to get a part time job nearby to afford housing, she would have also had to find an apartment and job that were close to the DART station since she didn’t have her own means of transportation and her family’s home was 45 minutes away from the city, so commuting was out of the question. Unfortunately, it was not an option for her.
As a marginalized woman myself, this hits far too close to home. I have looked into working for so many of my “dream companies” only to find that their internship opportunities were unpaid. When a person experiences things such as these over and over again, there comes a point in which they become desensitized to the experience, no longer seeing it as something that has the capacity to change but as something that is customary and inevitable. Students should not have to settle for their fourth or seventeenth options because of this; there needs to be a paradigm shift across corporate America and it needs to happen yesterday. As a marginalized person, I am tired of the discrimination and lack of diversity in corporate America; people from all backgrounds need equal access to the career of their choosing. So seriously, pay your interns.
Sincerely,
A Very Tired (Almost) Intern
Works Cited
1. “About Us.” Payourinterns.org, payourinterns.org/.
2. Delgado, Richard. “Storytelling for Oppositionists and Others: A Plea for Narrative.” Michigan Law Review, vol. 87, no. 8, 1989, pp. 2411–2441.
3. Cook, Daniella Ann. "Blurring the boundaries: The mechanics of creating composite characters." Handbook of critical race theory in education. Routledge, 2013. 201-214.
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anarcho-decepticonism · 4 years ago
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we fixed hsm
here are our 3 page fanfic plans
Troy & gabriella break up after like a month in college. Gabriella is around people smarter than her for the first time in her life & she’s really struggling & he doesn’t understand what she’s going thru & she realizes that he’s not that empathetic & bad at communicating. She’s single for like a year just adjusting to college & making new friends & figuring out who she is after hs & also not putting her entire identity in her intelligence. She tries out for theater & they’re like “you’re not that good at singing” & she’s like “never mind” bc she liked it because it was with her friends in the first place. She finds community elsewhere & eventually is in a more fulfilling & communicative & mature relationship
Troy is having a lot of trouble bc being a student athlete isn’t enough at FUCKING BERKELEY!!! And he’s having trouble at school. He also isn’t getting lead roles in the theater program bc it’s like. A hobby as opposed to his major/career path. He has to learn to like things without being the best at them & also communicate w people better. He’s no longer super special and the focal point of everything. He immediately tries to rebound by getting a new gf & she realizes right away that he just wants her to love him and pay attention to him and solve his problems and is like “fuck that dude go to therapy”. He goes to the school therapist which sucks but he finds a good therapist & like. Improves as a person lol. He has to think more abt the experiences of others and not need to have everyone love him all the time. He gets a dog -- good for him bc he has to be responsible for the life of something else but also dogs are very affectionate
Sharpay goes to UA & at first loves it bc she’s the star but then is super underwhelmed & depressed. She talks to Ryan and he’s like “you know you can just transfer” and she’s like “wow i’m so smart i’ll just transfer”. After like a semester she transfers to a different school with a good theater program (not Juliard tho). She has a good mentor figure who’s a prof who’s like “your ambition and drive are good things actually especially bc ur a woman and will be told that ur awful & bossy for standing up for yourself.” she makes her first real friend other than her brother (i am So sad) in a theater class-- not someone who worships her but like an actual human connection. Specifically a girl who she respects & doesn’t feel she has to compete with. She has a learning moment when her friend gets the lead role and Sharpay is genuinely proud of her and she realizes she wouldn’t have been suited to that part and that she doesn’t have to be the center of attention all the time. She learns to derive self worth from her love of theater instead of from everyone validating her. Also her friend is goth & tells her that all the pink she wears is bad. They both initially loved the theater bc they wanted to be accepted but learn together that they can just find worth in each other and themselves and their work. Also at one point Sharpay starts dating someone and gets really annoying and her friend is like “you’re being annoying” and they get in a fight and Sharpay is like “i don’t even like him that much but i feel like i have to be in a huge romance relationship (bc of troy and gabriella but also Society)” and this eventually leads to her realizing that she’s a lesbian and also that she has an unhealthy view of relatioships. She goes to therapy (it takes her a really long time to go but once she realizes she gets to talk abt herself she is more willing). Important that she does not date her friend (her emotional support system) but she does eventually get a gf. It takes her a long time to figure out how to be a good girlfriend and that her professional ambitions are different than her personal ambitions (she’s used to treating her relationships like a business instead of a two-sided thing where there needs to be emotional connection and both people being like vulnerable w each other)
Her and Ryan having space from each other where he can shine by himself and she feels like she doesn’t have to upstage him all the time. He feels for a long time that he can’t rely on her bc she’s a mess but eventually he texts her like 16 times in a row abt a person in his program he’s really annoyed at and she’s like “oh my god he’s ruining your show you Have to talk to the director!!!!” and it’s really helpful to just talk it out w her even if he doesn’t take her advice. It’s helpful for him to realize that it is a problem and he’s not overreacting but also that he should not take things to the extremes that Sharpay does lol. He should not poison this person. They eventually fall into a good & more balanced sibling relationship where they can rely on each other for a certain subset of things but they aren’t the only people in each others’ lives
Ryan meets other gay guys at Juliard who tell him that his hats are bad and show him how to dress not like an idiot. They’re like “it’s ok buddy. I know you were the only out guy at your high school but you don’t need to do that”. He’ll like. Do fine in college! He’s like fairly confident in his abilities and identity & good at like. Balancing career & personal life. He’s fine enough at school and doing well in his theater things. He’s charismatic and makes more good friends. He “formally comes out” to his parents in like a big thing. He choreographs it and makes Kelsey write him a song to sing. His parents are like “well we knew that but did you have to make it this much of a thing” and he’s like “yes”. His mom is generally more accepting than his dad and his dad is like “please don’t talk about this to the people at the country club” and he’s like “i… wasn’t? I don’t know these people. They’re your friends”
After college Ryan gets famous before Sharpay does and generally has a good thing going wrt doing choreography for “really important things” (he isn’t public facing)-- he’s good at choreo and also good at working with divas (thanks Sharpay i love u). He gets Sharpay a good role in a thing but he makes a big deal like “I got you an audition i didn’t get u the part u did it all yourself :)” but he totally got her the part lol in that he recommended her. She does a rlly good job tho (obvs) and does well in the spotlight bc she;s actually like. Hardworking and driven and good at musical theater. Her Big Break is in like a movie adaptation of a musical. She’s Glinda when they finally make a Wicked movie. The choreography is really good bc Ryan does it
Taylor tries to become a politician but slowly realizes that her passion for being an activist doesn’t super align with that and figures out that she wants to enact social change without like. Being a part of the system. She has a youtube channel where she talks about social issues and wears her stupid sweater vests & ties. Also she dates someone who likes women. Before she was invested in the public-facing aspect of the relationship and she learns what it means to actually have private moments of caring & how to not follow a stereotypical relationship and instead to do like. What she actually wants to. She’s bi and she dates a woman and enjoys not having societal expectations wrt how relationships are supposed to go. She dates a guy and realizes that a m/f relationship also doesn’t have to conform to societal expectations. Both are super important experiences for her even if neither are “endgame” (i love u matty)
Chad is heartbroken after Troy goes to a different school but tries to hide it/is in denial. He kind of lashes out at people who want to make friends with him and goes into a depression spiral. He eventually snaps out of it when Sharpay (who is still going to UA at this point) is like “what’s your problem?? Anyway i started going to therapy and it helped actually. Toodles!” and he’s like “what the fuck just happened” but he makes an appointment. The first session he’s like “hwatever this is stupid idk why i’m here. Whatever” and the therapist is like “yeah. Okay.” but he eventually opens up and then like. Learns to see himself as not part of a friendship or group/team and see himself as an individual. He gets over Troy, which takes him a while but he does it & we’re proud of him <3 it also takes a while to make friends who he can be emotionally vulnerable around bc he’s never really had that type of relationship before (bc he and troy are very guys being dudes & he like. Wasn’t super close w Taylor as they were p much just a relationship for show). He makes friends w both some guys and girls who aren’t all on the basketball team and has friends from lots of different places. This process takes him like. All of college.
Chad doesn’t date anyone in college and afterwards it’s super awkward bc it’s like the first time he’s actually dating someone. He ran into Ryan and they have a talk where Ryan’s like “you could’ve been my first love but you were never really emotionally available bc u were in love w a straight guy and also not confident in the fact that u are gay. Like that summer was fun but it wasn’t real” and chad is like “oh”. Ryan was like in a serious relationship at that point but didn’t mention it bc he didn’t want to feel like he was rubbing it in lol. And then Chad thinks about things. This is like during a Thanksgiving break while still in college. Chad eventually dates a guy who understands how it’s like. Hard to be gay and figuring out relationships and stuff at different life stages.
Kelsey gets negative feedback for the first time and freaks out but eventually learns that a prof who only gives positive feedback when she deserves it is good actually. She incorporates criticism and starts to write songs that don’t suck. She continues to wear awful outfits. She has a nice girlfriend who also wears awful outfits. They are an awful annoying couple but they’re happy. They do annoying theater kid things
Ms Darbus realizes that it’s bad to force her students to completely write & choreograph their own shows and stops pouring her entire life into high school theater and fixes her problems with her “legal domestic partner” whom she was feuding with
Zeke realizes that he likes Sharpay in the same way he likes celebrities and that isn’t a crush. He makes plenty of friends in college bc everyone loves a guy who brings baked goods to places. He continues doing basketball & baking as hobbies but neither is a career & he finds passion elsewhere. He loves doing whatever he’s currently doing but doesn’t have like a Thing he wants to do forever and it takes him a while to find a forever career. He ends up teaching a variety of classes at community college and is happy doing that but also he might not do that forever. He comes to terms with his “contentment w the transience of life” and is like “if i’m happy doing what i’m doing now then that’s good enough for now”. He serves as a good contrast to all of the super driven people who know exactly where they want to be (gabriella, sharpay, ryan)
We did it. we fixed high school musical
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streamacademe · 5 years ago
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Week 110, Day 765.
It has been a manic week, hence the delay in my blog post. My trip to Scotland was totally worth it as I finally managed to collect more service reservoir material, which is now on its way to the US to undergo a variety of analyses in a weeks time or so! I spent approximately 60% of the weekend sleeping, which I’m super grateful to myself for as the last three days I have been doing lab work, data analysis, sample shipment arrangement, preparing for my trip to the US, and answering questions as a panellist on a Chinese online community network called ScienceNet. The latter involved myself and five other volunteers answering questions from whoever wanted to write in (mostly undergraduate and graduate students) on research career related topics. I thought that it would be useful to share the questions I was asked (in bold) and my answers (in italics) on here. I have had some brilliant and heart-warming feedback from ScienceNet, so I hope you also find them useful.
Q1. Do you think female PhD students face different stressors as compared to their male counterparts?
I think that both male and female PhD students face the same stressors in terms of workload. However, I also think that female PhD students face EXTRA stressors. These include sexism in the workplace, which unfortunately still exists, and especially sexism if your PhD involves manual labour. For example, as an engineer, I have a lot of fieldwork with contractors and I am usually treated differently as a woman in that the men on site tend to think of me as someone more fragile and in need of assistance. It can be very frustrating. I have also been in situations where there are no female bathrooms at some of the sites I’ve visited, for example at water treatment works. It is also more difficult for women to get the appropriate protective wear e.g. hard hats, high visibility jackets, steel toecap boots etc. in their size.
I also believe that women are expected to dress well and look nice at all times and especially at work related events. There is a lot less pressure on men to do this. Furthermore, it is not taken into consideration how hard work can be for a woman when she is on her period, especially for those who suffer from conditions such as endometriosis. I think that the world is changing for the better in terms of gender equality. However, we are not there yet and so it is very important to always tell someone if you feel like you are being treated unfairly and express your concerns to a staff member you trust or a student support officer. Just don’t suffer in silence.
Q2. As a PhD student, how did you manage to balance your study and personal life?
This can be very hard to do, and even if you do find a balance, it is difficult and unrealistic to maintain it at all times. However, one of the biggest lessons I quickly learned is how important self-care is. A PhD requires a lot of brainwork and can be really damaging on you mental and physical health if you push yourself too hard, which in turn will negatively affect the quality of your work. If you practice self-care, a balance between your personal and work life will naturally follow. Therefore, here are some of the ways in which I personally do this:
Spend time with animals and in nature - Honestly, if I had to choose just one bit of advice, it would be this. Animals are the definition of joy, and being in nature always reminds me how beautiful the world can be.
Sleep - Getting enough sleep makes my anxiety more manageable, my mood better, and means I have more energy to deal with what life has to throw at me. Don’t listen to how much sleep you “should” have, instead listen to your body and work with it. Personally, I aim for at least 8 hours a night.
Routine - Something that can be tough to do because a lot of PhDs do not follow a specific schedule, but trying my best to stick to a routine makes me feel calm and prepared for what’s ahead. It also means that when it comes to taking rest days, I can take full use of them.
Read - I use books as a form of escape from reality, typically reading either before bed or in the morning before work. It helps take my mind off the stresses that clutter my brain.
Exercise, eat healthy, and drink plenty of water - I know you’ve heard it all before, but here it is again. It works.
Focus on genuine priorities - Procrastination/dedicating your time to non-essential tasks are your no.1 enemies. PhD’s are extremely unpredictable and you have to try and be ahead of the game or you risk falling too far behind. So make sure you know exactly what your priorities are and treat them as such.
You have to learn to say ‘no’ - This will probably be something you’re not used to or are comfortable doing, but I have learned from personal experience that this is literally the most important thing when it comes to  looking after yourself and avoiding burnout.
Remember that your PhD is your work not your life - As hard as that may be.
Q3. The PhD program in China usually lasts four years (but many students spend longer than this to get their degree). Is the situation different from this in Western countries? Do you have any advice for PhD students on what career choices they should make when they’re no longer “young” upon graduation?
The situation is different in the UK, but very similar in the US. In the UK, a PhD usually lasts 3 years, but a student may complete it (with or without funding) in 3.5 years. Sometimes, there are exceptions, for example, some PhD’s can be completed in 5 years, but this is VERY rare, with funding usually capped at the latest at 4 years. Career choices are very personal, so I cannot advise on that. I will however say that age is not a reflection of ones abilities. I think the biggest decision that a PhD student needs to make early on is whether they want to stay in academia or go into industry. This will change the trajectory of their PhD, for example, if they don’t want to stay in academia, there is less pressure to publish papers etc. but a higher requirement to have some work experience in industry.
Q4. What if my research topic diverges from my supervisor?
This shouldn’t happen as your supervisor is on that project because the topic of your PhD is what they specialise in. However, differences can arise in how research questions are approached e.g., your supervisor may feel you should do one type of experiment and you may disagree. To overcome this, talk to your supervisor about your concerns and provide evidence to back up your points.
Q5. Is it a big burden for PhD students in the United States to afford the tuition? I’ve heard that supervisors may pay part of the tuition or even daily expenses. Is that true?
I am not personally from the US, but do know a little bit about how their system works. Usually a PhD supervisor covers tuition costs, which are approximately $15,000 per year. The student is also provided with a stipend to live on, which is between $22,000 - $30,000 (for the duration of the PhD) depending on the institution. Some PhDs are self-funded, but most follow the structure mentioned above. A lot of PhD students will pick up tuition style work to earn some extra cash.
Q6. When doing a PhD is western countries, do you have any suggestions for choosing schools and supervisors? Any advice on something we should be careful with when contacting supervisors for the first time? Are there any qualities and traits of candidates that supervisors may prefer?
I would choose a university that specialises in your field and is ranked in the top 100 universities for that country. For me, as I do a research based PhD, it was important that my chosen university was part of a Russel Group.
It is hard to predict what a potential supervisor will be like, but it may be helpful to contact some of the students that are already supervised by that person to get an idea of what it is like to work with them. It is also helpful to read some of their published work.
When contacting supervisors for the first time make sure that you have very good grammar and keep your email/letter short as they are very busy people and are unlikely to read long pieces of text.
A supervisor needs to know that you can handle yourself in difficult situations, are reliable, punctual, hardworking, and in some way unique. You also have to show how passionate you are about the research you want to do and why.
Q7. What factors need to be taken into consideration when choosing your destination countries to do a PhD?
It is difficult for me to answer this question as I stayed in my home country for my PhD, but I guess it depends on how far you are willing to step outside of your comfort zone. It is very easy to feel isolated in a new country, especially if you do not know the language of that country well. If having a community of people from your home country is important to you, make sure you research this before choosing where you want to go.
Q8. If my goal is to publish papers in top journals and get real world experience, do you have any tips for me on choosing supervisors?
At the end of the day, you will be the one writing your research paper, so I do not think your choice of supervisor is too important here. It helps if your supervisor has published plenty of papers in respected journals, but it is more important that your supervisor can find the time to review your work and advise you on how to improve, rather than being super famous.
Q9. Any suggestions on improving the efficiency of your research?
Focus on genuine priorities - Procrastination/dedicating your time to non-essential tasks are your no.1 enemies. PhD’s are extremely unpredictable and you have to try and be ahead of the game or you risk falling too far behind. So make sure you know exactly what your priorities are and treat them as such.
To do lists and GANTT charts are lifesavers – On difficult days, refer to these to reorient yourself and stay on track. Make sure they are always up to date, kept neat, and, most importantly, realistic.
Find a balance between feeling terrified and apathetic, and stupid and self-assured - PhD’s are terrifying, which I appreciate can be exhausting and can lead to feeling apathetic. However, apathy is both a blessing and a curse. It may make you feel calmer and more able, but it will not motivate you to try harder and do better. The same applies for feeling self-assured; yes, you are clearly clever for getting this far and you should acknowledge and celebrate that, but feeling stupid pushes us to seek knowledge, which is what science is all about.
Rely on your supervisors for help - THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. You DO NOT have to do everything alone. Ask questions, talk to them about your problems, and seek their advice. If they make you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or make themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to voice your opinions and stand your ground with your superiors, they are only human, just like you, and if you feel like they are misguiding or misunderstanding you, tell them. This is your PhD, not anybody else’s.
Q10. I’ve heard that the PhD tuition is very expensive in western countries. Is it common that PhD students do part-time jobs to make ends meet?
I can only speak for the UK, and in the UK, this is not true. Yes, tuition costs are high but these are typically covered by a scholarship or something alike. PhD students are paid enough to live relatively comfortably. However, most PhD students will pick up some extra work within the university e.g. tuition to get some bonus cash; this is personal preference. It also depends on the location of your university, for example, studying and living in London is much more expensive than some other places in the UK.
Q11. Do all universities in the US cover tuition? How can I find out these details? What happens if I don't get university funding? Are there other options for me?
I am not from the US, so I cannot say for sure, but I do know a little bit about how their system works in general. Usually a PhD supervisor covers tuition costs, which are approximately $15,000 per year. The student is also provided with a stipend to live on, which is between $22,000 - $30,000 depending on the institution. Some PhDs are self-funded, but most follow the structure mentioned above.
To find out exact details for your university of interest, contact the university directly. I do not know about alternative options other than there may be some scholarships that you can apply for, but these are usually highly competitive.
Q12. Can you please evaluate the influence of your senior fellow students on you during your doctoral study?
It has been helpful to see senior fellow students progress through their PhDs and share their experiences and the lessons they have learned. They also tend to be more clued up on the way things work at your institution etc., which is helpful. However, because PhDs are so unique and every students approach to their PhD is different, it is very hard to be influenced much by others doing something completely different.
Q13. What was the difference between the focus/weightage on dissertations and papers when you did your PhD?  
You do not do dissertations as a PhD student in the UK, just your thesis. However, there are two main types of thesis style, you can do either a classic thesis or thesis by papers, if it is the latter then you have to write and publish a lot more papers than the former.
Q14. If you could go back to when you started your PhD, what advice would you give yourself?
Do little things before they become too hard.
Write as much as you can as early as you can.
Focus on genuine priorities.
Practice self-care.
Q15. How should one deal with the relationship with one’s supervisors? Do PhD students in your country have a specific way of managing this relationship?
Supervisors are only human, just like you, and so they can be very different people. Some prefer a stricter, professional relationship, but from my experience, most are happy to go out for coffee with you and have a less formal rapport.
Your supervisor will be your no.1 support system throughout your PhD, so learn what they are like, find common ground, and do not be afraid to have a professional friendship with them. Your supervisor is there to help carry you through the tough phases, make sure they like you.
However, remember, if they make you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or make themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that.
Q16. Would you let your children do a PhD in the future? Especially if they are girls?
I would let my children follow whatever career path they wanted to choose and I see absolutely no reason why women (not girls) should be advised against doing a PhD.
Q17. Why do so many postgraduate students’ superiors want them to go onto do a PhD?
I do not know if this is necessarily true in the UK. A student is only advised to do a PhD if their lecturers/supervisors/senior researchers believe that they have great potential to complete a PhD, especially if they supervised them during a Masters research project. However, in the UK students are not pushed to do something they are not interested in doing.
Q18. In China, PhD students are required to publish SCI papers before graduation. Is it the same situation in your country? Or do you have any other requirements?
No, you do not have to publish SCI papers before graduation in the UK, although it is preferable if you can. There are no other requirements of this kind that I am aware of.
Q19. I did a Master of Arts degree in China, and then studied English in the US for a year. I want to do a PhD abroad in the future, but haven't figured out what to study. Would it be possible for you to give me some advice on this matter?
Only choose a discipline that you know you are passionate about as PhD’s are tough and it is easy to lose love for your project. Also think about what you’re good at, for example, I like physics, but I would struggle to do a PhD in that discipline. Aside from that, I cannot advise as choosing a career is very personal.
Q20. What would you consider as “hot” subject areas for PhD programs in your country? (please specify country)
There is no such thing really in the UK. I guess any of the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) degrees are quite popular, and medicine.
Q21. I find that I always end up procrastinating while doing research. What should I do? Are there any good suggestions for improvement? I feel that the pressure is immense.
Trust me; everybody struggles with procrastination in one way or another. However, my best bit of advice is to treat your research like a job, which to be honest, it is. You wouldn’t procrastinate at work, would you?
Furthermore, try your best to separate work and social life. For instance, I try hard not to not work on weekends because that way I feel refreshed and motivated to get back to work on Monday.
You can also create a reward system for yourself, for example, if you work 8 hours a day Monday-Friday you can buy yourself a small present, or if you finish an essay, you can treat yourself to an extra day off, that sort of thing.
I appreciate that the pressure of doing research is really high, but the more you delay a task and the more you procrastinate, the worse it will get.  
Q22. If there is an academic dispute with the supervisor or if the supervisor is not happy with the student’s working progress, does the supervisor have the right to suspend the student’s living expenses or send him/her home?
Absolutely not. If your supervisor makes you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or makes themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. The only time you can be suspended from your PhD is if you fail to meet certain requirements set by the University itself, NOT the supervisor.
Q23. When applying to a PhD program, would you prefer a  university with a good reputation, e.g. ranking 200-500 globally, or would you consider the supervisors’ experience and research in the industry as more important?
I would consider the research topic as a priority, because it is very easy to lose passion for your PhD and want to quit when things get tough, but if you believe in the value of the research that you’re doing, it is easier to get through those difficult periods.
Following this, I would consider the University, simply because it is a lot easier to find out what the reputation of an institution is like, compared to a specific supervisor. Furthermore, supervisors may change throughout the course of your PhD.
Q24. I don't know why my supervisor keeps persuading me to study for a PhD degree. I personally prefer to start working after finishing my Master's degree. Should I refuse my supervisor even though he is insisting?
You should definitely refuse to do a PhD if it is not something that you want to do.
Q25. What do you think is the most important quality you need for being a PhD?
There are many. However, if I had to choose one, you have to be excellent at self-motivation and time-management.
Q26. When the research topic is finalized, how to design the research?
Read  literature from the field of study, converse with your supervisors, and just start. There is never a perfect plan for how to do research, it is all about trial and error.
Q27. PHD students are invited to dinner by their tutors in China. It's said that in foreign countries, they usually go dutch between PhD students and tutors in such a situation. And that graduate students have to attend a tutor's dinner at their own expense. Is that so?
No, this is not the case in the UK. Here, supervisors or your project budget should cover the costs of such meals/events.
Q28. Is it true that PhD students must follow the supervisor’s instruction exactly? If the process does not work out well, the supervisor can suspend the student’s scholarship?
Absolutely not. If your supervisor makes you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or makes themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to voice your opinions and stand your ground with your superiors, they are only human, just like you, and if you feel like they are misguiding or misunderstanding you, tell them. This is your PhD, not anybody else’s.
The only time a student can be suspended from their PhD is if they fail to meet certain requirements set by the University itself, NOT the supervisor.
Q29. I am doing doctoral joint training in the UK, and I plan to return to China next year after graduation. What do you think would be a better choice? Hunting for a job after I get the PhD or the continuation of overseas postgraduates studies?
Unfortunately, I cannot answer this question as the choice of any future career decisions should be your own.
Q30. For subjects like branding, public relations, is it necessary to study for a PhD degree in foreign countries?
As someone whose career is not related to any of these fields, I cannot answer this question. Your best bet is to contact companies/institutions in this field directly.
That is all for this week folks! Have a spooktacular Halloween! 👻
Photo: You’re welcome. Source: Pinterest.
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aeneasx · 6 years ago
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These Are the Traits You Find Most Annoying About Men, According to Your Zodiac Sign
Ah, men--can’t live with them, and hopefully science will one day figure out a way for us to live without them. All joking aside, there are certain aspects of them that seriously drives you crazy and it could be due to your zodiac sign. Read on to find out what you find most annoying about men according to astrology.
check venus/moon sign
Aries. Hardworking Aries, you don’t have a lot of time for ego so when you meet a guy who can’t stop bragging you can’t handle it. You don’t want to listen to a guy who goes on and on about how important his job or how much money he makes. You’re also pretty sure that the more a guy brags, the more unimpressive his life actually is--like personality trucknuts.
Taurus. You’ve never been a big fan of entitled people, grounded Taurus. You’ve worked hard for what you have and you can’t stand men who think they’re owed things just by existing. Men who just take without giving anything back annoy you to no end.
Gemini. Geminis are known for being able to switch between seriousness and fun very easily, but you just can’t quite wrap your head around men who take things too seriously. Yeah, there’s a lot of serious things to face in life, but what’s wrong with letting loose every once in awhile?
Cancer. Sensitive Cancers aren’t afraid to show emotion but they find men who think if a man does the same he’s weak. Empathy and opening up to people isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength and you’re sick of having to explain this to these men.
Leo. You’re a brilliant hard worker, Leo, which is why you can’t stand men who talk down to you. You’ve had enough of men who mansplain your own job to you. You find it even more annoying when they do it in your life outside of work as well.
Virgo. You like things to be a certain way, Virgo, so it drives you crazy when men disrupt that order. Some men leave messes without realizing, leaving you to clean up after them and it’s something that’s always driven you crazy.
Libra. Libras love balance and harmony. You don’t understand why we can’t all just get along, which is why negging drives you crazy. When a man tries to hit on you by putting you down, you see red. It’s not an attractive trait or a good way to flirt in your opinion.
Scorpio. Some men just don’t understand passion like you do, Scorpio. They’re either too forward or too timid. You need someone who can keep up with you but you don’t like it when they overstep your boundaries. Some men think passion is all about lust and you know it’s way more than that.
Sagittarius. Free-spirited Sagittarians aren’t one for being held down, which is why you’re not a fan of the double standard many men have. Men are allowed to mess around and don’t have to settle down. Women feel pressured to and you’re over it.
Capricorn. Level-headed Capricorns have a lot to do to achieve their goals, they don’t have time to babysit. They can’t stand men who are completely helpless. Why can’t they figure out life for themselves and let you live?
Aquarius. Aquarians are the best communicators. You enjoy stability and people who are upfront with you, so you’re incredibly annoyed at men who are wishy-washy with their commitment to you. You don’t understand why they have such a problem with it.
Pisces. Pisces are known for being incredibly trusting and romantic, so you’re annoyed at men who aren’t as enthusiastic about love as you are. Their text messages are pretty lackluster and they’re not into romantic gestures like you are. You just want to experience some kind of magic and you can’t seem to find it.
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secondhandfantasy · 6 years ago
Text
Loving Porcupine
Fanfiction by me
Language: English 
Words: 9,506 
Summary: Tina has always had people talking about her love life, most of the time she did not like it, but some times the right person came into the picture to make it all better.
A.K.A: The loves of Tina's life
Find it on AO3 Here 
------------ “Come down from there,” Tina heard Queenie shout “,you could get seriously hurt.” A smirk formed on Tina’s lips.
Yeah as if anyone would care, she thought as a slight bitter chuckle escaped her lips.
Tina looked down at her worried sister. It wasn’t her fault that the only place where she could get some peace was in the roof of the Ilvermorny castle, it also wasn’t her fault that she quite liked heights, they, after all, made her feel a sense of freedom, they made her feel like she could do anything without anyone to hold her back.
“Teenie, please, come down from there,” her sister’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts as she looked at the blonde’s head that was popping out of the window in the Thunderbird common room and looking up at her. Reminding her that even in the most peaceful of places, your siblings would still manage to find you.
“How did you even manage to access the Thunderbird common room, Queenie?” She said, completely ignoring her sister’s plea and not showing any sign of moving away from that roof.
“One of your friends let me in,” the younger witch gave her sister a slight smile, “he was very kind”
“One,” Tina started, eyes locked with Queenie’s “whoever it was that opened the door for you was not my friend, I don’t have any friends here nor would I want to” Tina watched as her sister looked at her with exasperation “and two, whoever it was, you must give me a name because he was clearly flirting with my 13 year old sister.”
Queenie rolled her eyes before opening her mouth to retaliate “How would you know he was flirting with me?” she said, irritation clear in all of her features “you weren't there”
“I know how boys work” Tina said not making eye contact with Queenie, instead deciding to look out ahead to the campus bellow. “You are a legilimens, you should know for certain if he had second intentions or not”
“Well, what if he had?” Anger was clearly sipping out of her words now. “What will you do about it? It’s not like you can take care of me 24 hours a day.”
Queenie looked down as her breathing slowly calmed. “It’s not like you have any experience to compare my love life to anyways,” she whispered, hoping her sister had not heard her but, as soon as she saw the mass of short dark brown hair make its way to the other side of the roof, she knew that her sister had heard every last word.
Tina walked towards the quidditch pitch, where a few boys were playing around and sat down in the roof space that was hidden from any prying eyes. She heard her sister’s faint shouts of her name from the distance and waited until she gave up and they eventually disappeared.
As the shouting came to an end, Tina finally let herself think over what her sister had said. It’s not like you have any experience to compare my love life to anyways. She wasn’t wrong, of course. Tina was one of the only girls in her year who has not had her first kiss, she knew she wasn’t the prettiest girl, not even close, but she still wished someone would at least look at her differently, look at her like she was a precious being, look at her with admiration, with want… was that too much to ask?
Tina stayed up in the roof for a few more minutes, trying to organize her thoughts before she was to get down from the roof and face the people who clearly didn’t want to see her. she also had to apologise to her younger sister for acting so harshly, she knew Queenie didn’t mean to hurt her, she was just frustrated and 13, in the start of her teenage years with almost every single boy in her grade lusting after her. She was bound to lash out at some point.
The window slowly opened as Tina pushed herself through it, landing safely in the common room floor. she took a while to look around and see if anyone was there but, after a quick scan, she realised that everyone must already be having dinner in the eating area.
-----
“Tina Goldstein,” the boy in her year spat her name out as if it was venom. “The girl nobody wants to touch.” His friends laughed along with him as she slowly looked up from the book she was reading.
“What do you want, Mckinnon?”  Alexon Mckinnon was the type of boy girls swooned over, he was also the type of boy who always thought that he had every right to say and do anything and everything he wanted so, to summarize, he was exactly the type of boy Tina hated and, noting her clear disgust of him, he hated her back.
“Nothing” he said sliding down in the seat beside her “I just wanted to tell you that I am very happy with the fact that you are 17 years old and still haven’t gotten your first kiss.” he smirked inching closer to her, “but of course, we can make that little fact change now, can’t we?”
Tina quickly looked up at him before locking her piercing gaze with his, making sure all of her hatred would be seen. “If the person I am supposed to have my first kiss with is you, than I’d rather never kiss anyone,” Tina stood up and quickly grabbed her notes and books before walking away.
She started speed walking out of the library with her head down, staring at her feet as she silently urged them to walk faster, not looking at where she was going. She hated the fact that every single person in this school knew everything about her highly non existent love life, why did she have to be the target for all of their bullying? Why did no one like her? Those were the thoughts that were running through her head as she slammed straight into someone's chest.
“Sorry” she said quietly straightening herself before looking up at none other than Benjamin White, the most hated student in her year, aside from herself, of course. The tall, lanky boy didn’t have anything to be hated over in her opinion. Sure he used glasses that had lenses that looked like they could be thrown out of the tallest building and still not break from how thick they were and maybe his neat mousy brown hair was way too neat for a 17 year old boy but one thing that no one noticed was this young boy’s kindness. The way his light green eyes lit up every time he got an answer right, the way he was always up to help a friend in need when they needed it and how he always let other kids walk all over him if that meant making them happy.
If Tina was honest with herself, she would have realized that what she felt for him was not a romantic crush but indeed a friendship one, she longed to have a friend but Benjamin did not feel the same way. He had always stared at Tina throughout the day or whenever he could, he would always take other routes to maybe run into her because Benjamin, unlike every other student in that school, saw the real Tina, the hardworking Tina, the Tina who always did everything to make sure that both her and her sister would be able to have the best possible future.  
So, with awkward smiles exchanged, a beautiful friendship started, a friendship that was made out of a need, a friendship that was found in two people who knew each other but had never had the chance to truly communicate with one another and, as Tina watched Benjamin leave to spend Christmas with his parents, she felt happy to have finally found a friend.
The happiness she felt didn’t last long. As the months kept passing and the end of the school year kept getting closer and closer, both friends came to the realisation that they would have to eventually separate. Tina was staying in America, having already received her acceptance letter to be able to train under MACUSA, while Benjamin was going to move to France where he would study Potions under the utmost respected master.
The goodbye was inevitable and, as Tina tearfully separated from her hug with Benjamin, she got her first kiss.
Porpentina Goldstein was 17 years old when she got her first kiss and, in all honesty, it was not what she expected, the kiss was weird, it was sloppy and both parties clearly had no idea what they were doing. The kiss in itself probably lasted a maximum of 5 seconds but it was enough for both of them to realise that what they thought they had, what they thought was a crush, a start of something more, was merely a need for a physical connection with someone and they had seeked it in the closest person to them, the only one they could reach.
After a few months of back and forth, the letters stopped and Benjamin’s owl never again knocked on Tina’s apartment window.
------------
“What do you mean you are having second thoughts about it” Tina yelled at her ex guardian “I have every single right to be Queenie’s guardian” she started pacing the grounds in front of the women’s desk “for starters I am her sister, and last time I checked, Orphans were normally put in the hands of a willing relative that was over the legal age” she stopped in front of the desk, looking deeply in the shorter women’s eyes “and I just so happen to be of age”
“Well, yes” the petite women said, clearly nervous “but, you see Ms.Goldstein, you are not…” she took a small pause before making a small motion with her hand “married” she shuffled a few papers around before grabbing the one she wanted “and I don’t think it would be wise to leave a minor with a women who isn’t even seeing someone” She handed Tina the document before following it up with a pen “but, if you insist, than all you have to do is sign these documents”
Tina looked at the women standing before her with a death glare. How dare she think for even a second that she can’t take care of her baby sister, something that she has been doing for years, just because she doesn’t have a man by her side. Tina grabbed the papers from the women and read over them as quickly as she could muster. After her quick scan, Tina grabbed the pen the women had handed her and scribbled her signature before hastily returning both the objects back to her.
She walked out of the room with her head held high, she would show that ungrateful women that she didn’t need no one, let alone a man, to help her take care of Queenie.
----------
“Ms. Goldstein?” her mentor called out to her. Tina was one of the few females who were accepted into the auror training program. most of her co workers were man and the ones that weren’t didn’t like her very much.
“Ms. Goldstein, there you are,” the short blond man said approaching her.
Mr. Ambro was a nice man, to say he didn’t have flaws though was something else, but, considering the fact that he was the one who treated her with the most respect, she couldn’t complain. “You are late again, ms. Goldstein, I have been looking for you everywhere”
Tina looked down, clearly ashamed “I am sorry, Mr Ambro” she said biting her lip, a nervous tick she had to get rid of “I was..” she paused, not knowing what to say, if she were to tell Mr.Ambro the real reason she was late, that some women in other units were holding her up because they wanted to make fun of her, well, she would not hear the end of it “... In the bathroom” yes, bathroom, that was a safe bet... Or so she thought.
“Oh, I see” Mr. Ambro said with a slight chuckle “you went to the bathroom” he smirked at her “were there any gentleman at said bathroom, Ms. Goldstein?”
Tina felt the heat rising up her face as she struggled to form a sentence “No, of course not.” she said, trying to quickly take her mentor’s mind out of that “in fact, I haven’t been with anyone since I was 17” Tina looked down “If that even counts as being with someone” she whispered under her breath.
“Well, no worries, child” Mr. Ambro said grabbing her arm to make her walk “one day some guy will look at you and notice that you were the missing piece from his life all along”
Tina wished she could trust Mr. Ambro, she wished she believed him but, being 20 years old and having to watch your younger sister jump from relationship to relationship your whole life while constantly being compared to her beauty, well, she just didn’t have any hope left.
--------
“So, Tina” she heard one of the other aurors say as she reached her desk “you and that Magizoologist are you, you know, dating?”
The room was suddenly ten times hotter as the heat in her face became more and more intense “No, no of course not” she said looking down at her papers and trying to concentrate on them instead of her curious co worker.
The auror hummed as she opened her mouth to speak again “I figured so,” she said laughing slightly “no wizard would be able to fall for you, no matter how desperate,” she looked at Tina with such intensity that she felt as if she was naked and had nowhere to hide.
The clicking of heels slowly made their way back and away from Tina as she was finally able to relax. Had she thought about the possibility of dating Newt? of curse she had, but she also knew that there was no chance of that happening. Sure Newt had offered to hand her his book in person and the letters that they sent to each other were lovely but, like always, Newt always treated Tina as nothing more than a friend and maybe he just wanted to see her as a friend when he came back to deliver her his book. Nothing more, just friends. Tina was okay with that. She wanted to believe she was okay with that at least.
Weeks had passed and then, months, until finally, it happened. Newt’s book had finally been released and, everytime Tina saw a new person come out of a bookstore with one of his books, she would feel an ache deep in her chest and a thought, a question that would pop into her head every single time. Why hasn’t he come back yet?
The week after the book release, Tina’s question was answered. As soon as the young witch stepped into her New York flat that she shared with her younger sister, she knew something was wrong. The thing that gave it away first and foremost was her sister, as she looked at the older Goldstein with worry written all over her face.
“Teenie, you are here early,” Queenie said, plastering on a highly false smile.
“ No I am not,” Tina entered the room and took a closer look at her sister before noting a magazine hidden behind her. “What’s that?” she asked taking a closer step towards her sister.
“What’s what, honey?” the false smile became slightly wider as Queenie backed up towards the wall, trying to move away from her.
“That magazine behind your back, a magazine that you are quite clearly trying to hide from me” Tina grabbed her wand and, before Queenie could do anything, she summoned the magazine, catching it flawlessly.
What Tina saw in the cover made her heart jump. There in the front of the magazine was Newt and under the cover was the page that would lead her to his article. Quickly flipping through the pages, Tina finally came upon the right article, with a picture of Newt in the centre of a table and three more people standing on either side of him, one was hidden away, a girl that looked so out of place and like she wanted to be anywhere but there, on his other side was a tall man on the farthest corner, a man that looked a lot like Newt, a man Tina had heard quite a lot about, Theseus Scamander, the war hero and also, Newt’s brother. But it wasn’t any of them that peaked Tina’s interest, the one person that made the brunette's heart fall was the one women who was standing the closest to Newt, with her hand touching Newt’s arm. Leta Lestrange. The first women he fell in love with, the women who’s picture he carries.
Newt Scamander is to be married to Leta Lestrange. That, at least, is what the article told Tina, and, even though she knew magazines told a lot of lies, she couldn’t help but believe this one. After all Leta was a gorgeous women, she was Newt’s first love and who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity of marrying your first love? Tina chucked the magazine back at her sister before finally speaking “I don’t know why you would want to hide that magazine from me, Queenie” she said not looking anywhere near her sister “it’s not like I have ever had any romantic affiliations with Newt”
“Don’t lie to me Teenie” Queenie placed the magazine down on the kitchen table before making her way towards her sister, “I know how he felt every time he looked at you, that boy was fascinated by you, he wanted to be more than friends”
A slow, soft chuckle escaped Tina’s lips as she turned back towards her sister “yeah, of course” she said bitterly moving past Queenie and checking the pans before waving her wand to set the table “if he wanted to be more than friends, don’t you think he would, oh I don’t know, still be single or at least not engaged?”
“Magazines lie, Tina, you know that,” Queenie waved her own wand to make the food fly from the pots to the recently placed plates, “did Newt say anything about Leta in his latest letters?” she asked while moving to sit as her sister did the same.
“No.”
“Then I think you have your answer,” the younger Goldstein smiled slightly, grabbing her fork so that she could start eating
“He could also be sparing my feelings,” Tina grumbled before grabbing a mouthful of food
“You never know, Tina.”
“That’s exactly it though,” Tina swallowed her food before continuing, “You never know, so with that same logic Newt might be living his life and engaged to Leta.”  How else would you explain the fact that he hasn’t come back to deliver her copy?
The dinner progressed without any talk. Tina was too busy with her thoughts and trying to keep her sister out of her head while Queenie was busy thinking about the man who had captured her heart, the man she knew Tina would never approve of a relationship.
Weeks passed and as Newt’s last letter came, Tina decided it was time to cut all ties with the British man, she didn’t want to be known as the women who ruined a perfectly good marriage.
--------
“Tina, wait up” Achilles Tolliver, a new recruit who had been assigned as her partner yelled after her.
“What do you want, Tolliver,” Tina stopped before turning and coming face to face with the young man. Well she couldn’t exactly call him that considering that he was the same age as she but, in retrospect, they were both young. At 26 and working for MACUSA for a mere 3 weeks, Achilles Tolliver had gained quite the reputation. The tall muscular man was any witches dream, he was handsome and had piercing blue eyes accompanied by beautiful brown hair. Tina, being tall herself, was below his eye level which meant that she had to lift her head to make the slightest eye contact with the 6’4 man standing before her.
“A guy can’t talk to his partner anymore?” the auror asked as a playful grin made its way into his lips, making Tina roll her eyes.
“Yes he can, as long as it is strictly professional” she resumed walking to her desk, wanting to finish her paperwork as quickly as she could. If there was one thing about being an auror that Porpentina Goldstein hated, it was paperwork.
“Of course, I’m always professional,” he leaned over before whispering in her ear and sending a chill down her spine “after work we can be less professional tough right?” Tina could feel the smirk that appeared on his lips as a blush made its way to her face.
“Then speak to me after work, Tolliver, not during it” she quickly regained her composure as she heard Achilles laugh and return to his desk.
The paperwork was hell, like always, but as soon as it was done Tina felt a gigantic weight being lifted from her shoulder. As she made her way out of the MACUSA office, she felt a small and light tap on her shoulder, turning around to see Achilles smiling shyly at her.
“Want to have that non professional conversation, Tolliver?” she raised her eyebrows and Achilles nodded. “Follow me, there is a coffee shop down the street that I quite like.”
The two made their way out onto the street as they approached a small coffee shop. The shop was one of Tina’s favorites, it had the perfect coffee, not too bitter and not too sweet, and it also had the best pastries the only place that could out their pastries was Jacob’s bakery but Tina would rather not take a MACUSA auror there.
“Nice place” Achilles said, taking a seat in one of the tables closest to the window.
“Yeah, I come here every time I’m feeling stressed” Tina took a seat opposite of him “It has the kind of welcoming environment that helps you calm down” she smiled as the waitress made her way to their table.
“Good afternoon Ms. Goldstein,” Beatrice said smiling down at Tina before looking over at Achilles “and who must this be?”
Beatrice was nice girl, she was about 20 years old and always made the effort to be Tina’s waitress with the young witch taking a liking to the older auror. One thing that coffee shop also had was the fact that it was run by a family of wizards and it made using magic much easier.
“This is Achilles Tolliver, a colleague of mine”
“You work with the person for weeks and go on missions where you literally have each other's lives on your hands but yeah, still a colleague,” he smirked at Tina as she rolled her eyes
“Sorry. Beatrice, This is my friend,” Tina looked at Achilles before looking back at Beatrice “Achilles Tolliver. Achilles, this is Beatrice Bernards. Her parents own this coffee shop”
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Bernards,” Achilles said courtly, bowing his head slightly as Beatrice giggled a little.
“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Tolliver,” she grabbed her pen and notepad before continuing “Anything you would like to order?”
“Just one black coffee and a muffin for me” Tina said before Beatrice looked over at Achilles and asked the same question.
“Same for me” he smiled slightly before the young girl skipped off.
“Nice kid” he looked at Tina before grabbing her hand “she seems very fond of you”
Tina smirked before letting out a small chuckle “Well, if it makes you feel any better, she seems quite fond of you too.”
Achilles laughed before squeezing her hand and letting it go as Beatrice brought back their orders.
“She is not my type though,” the auror said taking a sip of his coffee before looking at Tina “I am interested in another witch at the moment, an older, wise auror, you know.”
He took a bite out of his muffin as Tina choked on her coffee at his words. What… What could he possibly mean by that? Tina coughed slightly, clearing her throat, before asking “Do--does that witch have a name?”
“She does,” he smirked before cleaning his mouth with a napkin “It would be weird if she didn’t, wouldn’t it”
Tina laughed “I guess so,” she paused and took a bite of her muffin, swallowing it before speaking again “would you care to share her name with me though?”
Achilles chuckled slightly.“I think you already know, Tina.” He reached over the table to, once again, grabbing her hand.
“I— I think so too,” she slowly said looking down at their hands before looking up at him “but I’d still like a verbal confirmation and— and some time to think about it”  
Achilles smiled slightly. “Her name is Porpentina Goldstein,” he said making Tina’s eyes go wide “but she would rather be called Tina, a fact that I quickly learned” he chuckled, clearly remembering the first and only time he had called her Porpentina, the fury in her face and words scared the crap out of him “and, I respect the fact that she wants to think about it but, I hope that once she decides on her decision, she will tell me if she would like to go on a date with me at Central Park this Saturday, giving her a full 5 days to decide,” he looked at her as if urging her to say something, anything, before letting go of her hands and going back to eat his muffin.
“I-” Tina started, trying to organize her thoughts “I will give you an answer by Friday.” she said, taking a sip of her coffee quickly after “but that also means that I only have 4 days, instead of 5,” Tina smirked as Achilles laughed, nearly choking on his coffee.
The rest of the evening went quickly, with both parties being quick to change subjects and falling into an easy conversation.
As soon as Tina got home she was met with a head of blonde hair jumping up to hug her “You got a date!” her younger sister said with happiness.
“What?” Tina didn't know what her sister was talking about, she had just met with Achilles and she hadn’t even agreed to the date yet.
“Some aurors were talking about the fact that you and Achilles Tolliver went out to eat today and how it was clearly a date,” Queenie said, jumping up and down with excitement before bringing her sister into another hug. “Oh Teenie I am so happy you found someone”
To say that Tina was surprised was an understatement, sure she knew that gossip travelled fast but couldn’t she go out with a male friend without it being a date? Her sister’s reaction wasn’t at all surprising though, she knew the younger Goldstein wanted to see her sister happy and she also knew that the blonde women in her arms was mad at a certain writer for, in her own words, pulling her sister along for a ride that was never going to happen.
“Thanks?” Tina said, slowly letting go of her sister “but me and Achilles didn’t go out on a date” her sister’s smile slowly faded before quickly reemerging, having clearly read Tina’s mind.
“But he asked you out on one!”
“He.. Um.. he did..” Tina blushed looking away from her “but I didn’t give him an answer, I said I would think about it”
“Oh, Teenie you have got to say yes, I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”
He could hate me, Tina thought, he could also never want to speak with me and want to change partners so he wouldn’t have to see my face every single day.
“Now, you stop that, Tina” Queenie quickly interjected her thoughts “don’t you dare think like that” she approached her sister once again and moved her face so she would look at her “Achilles was the one to ask you on a date, wasn’t he?”
“Yes”
“Then that means that he at least likes you enough that he wants to get to know you, he wants to give you a chance to fully enter his heart and maybe, just maybe, that is not such a bad thing.”
Tina looked deep into her sister’s eyes before being sure that Queenie was but truthful with her words. She did have a point after all, if Achilles had gone out of his way to ask her out on a date than that probably meant that he actually wanted to get to know her better and thought of her as a possible love interest. Yeah, maybe that wasn’t so bad after all.
With her mind made, Tina followed the next week observing Achilles to see how he acted when interacting with other people, with other coworkers and comparing it to how he interacted with her. After making sure that he was not leading her on, that he was actually truthful about this date. She decided on an answer.
“So, Tina, have you made up your mind?” Achilles asked the Friday that he was promised the answer to his question .
“I’m glad you finally decided to keep non work related subjects to be talked about outside of work” and, to be completely honest, she was actually very glad on his decision. Tina could not let her job escape her again and wanted, no, needed to be nothing but professional in the work space.
“I am glad too,” Achilles smiled as he gave Tina his arm so that she could hold onto it as they walked.
Tina grabbed onto the given arm as they started walking towards her apartment, deciding to give herself some time to organise her thoughts “You know, I did some research after your invite,” she started, looking forwards as Achilles hummed beside her “I watched the way you interacted with people to make sure that you were not leading me on.”
The man beside her gave a slight laugh “I presume I did well on that test,” he looked at her “since I didn’t  have eyes on anyone but you.”
Tina blushed before clearing her throat and continuing her speech, a little flustered now “Well, yes, yes you did” she smiled a little to the ground “so, after intense” she looked pointly at him as he laughed “research I decided to accept your offer and go on a date with you tomorrow around Central Park.”
Achilles’ smile grew as he looked at her with the utmost happiness in his eyes “I promise you will not regret your decision, Tina,” he turned to her as they reached the apartment building “pick you up at 1 in the afternoon?”
“I will be waiting.”
And she was. The next day as 1pm rolled around, Tina was waiting with her light blue casual dress and, once she heard the knock on her door, she let herself give out a worried breath, being glad her sister was stuck at work today for she would not be able to take the teasing if she was present.
The date went well, very well actually, she couldn't help but smile throughout it all and Achilles was super sweet and funny and the perfect gentleman. The only question was, why did she still have a certain Magizoologist on her mind? This man, standing before her, this man that had just taken her out on a very lovely date and was… did he just?
“Wait, what?” Tina asked, not believing her ears.
“I said that you looked beautiful today, Tina,” he smiled down at her “Actually, you look beautiful every single day.”
The blush had once again returned to her face. No one had ever called her beautiful, pretty, sure, but never beautiful, especially not a man. “You think I am beautiful?”
“Of course I do and trust me when I say, anyone that doesn’t see your beauty is a blind man.”
He said goodbye after that but the dates kept coming and, after every date things would start progressing. By the third date he had mustered up the courage to ask her for a kiss goodbye, a kiss she had gladly given him and, by the fifth one, he had asked if she wanted to become his girlfriend, to make this courtship actually happen. An offer she had accepted without much thought.
Dating Achilles was… good? Tina did like his companionship and she did have a deep care for him but, was it love? Could she outright say that she loved him? As much as it pained her, she knew the answer to that question. Tina Goldstein did not love Achilles Tolliver. Not romantically at least. But, despite that, Tina couldn’t bring herself to break up with him, for the friendship they developed over the months was way too big of one to just be thrown away.
“Tina,” Achilles approached her after the toughest mission they have ever had, a mission that left a good percentage of her colleagues dead, something Tina could not bring herself to think about. “Tina,” he grabbed her shoulder, moving to sit beside her on the floor. The mission had ended and now the remaining aurors were spread out, each in a different corner of MACUSA, each trying to come to terms with their pain, physical and mental. “I think we need to talk.”
Tina looked up at Achilles, worry written all over her face “what do you mean?”
“You don’t love me” he didn’t ask a question, simply stated a fact. “Don’t worry about it,” he looked at her, bringing up his hand to touch her cheek “I don’t think what I feel for you is love, either.”
Tina laid her head on his shoulder, reaching for his hand and interlacing his finger with hers “what do we do now?” she asked, feeling a few tears swell up in her eyes “I don’t want to lose your friendship.”
“I don’t want to lose yours either,” he reached over to wipe the tear that had fallen from her eye with the hand that wasn't interlaced with hers as she slowly lifted her head to look into his eyes.
“So, can we stay friends, no strings attached?” she asked, hoping for the right answer, the answer that would bring her joy.    
“Of course we can, Porppie,” he laughed, using the nickname that she hated, before she jokingly slapped him on his chest. Demonstrating that, even though they had dated and had that past, they could still move forward in their relationship but this time, instead of a romantic relationship they would choose the right path and love each other the way they knew how, platonically.
---------
“Tina,” she heard Newt whisper as he slowly got closer to her, afraid that if he walked any faster she would get startled like a scared beast.
After the events of Paris Tina had come to realise that the one thing that was the most precious to her, the one thing that she had had throughout all of her life, could disappear in a seconds notice. Porpentina Esther Goldstein had officially lost her sister and she was not okay.
Newt had found her in his basement after he had assumed everyone had gone off to sleep. Jacob of course being the first one to go, having to share a room with the Magizoologist when the bed was transfigured into two, with Nagini soon following, her choosing to sleep in the case, where she felt the most comfortable. Theseus and Yusuf went back to their respective homes, agreeing to see all of them in a weeks notice, after everything in the ministry was cleared up.
Tina on the other hand could neither go back to MACUSA, since going to New York without Queenie would be too much and she had already cleared everything up with MACUSA sending her over to the UK to work with a small team that would be coming later, nor fall asleep, having turned around in the guestroom’s double bed for half an hour before giving up, instead of staying there she decided to go down to the basement where the beasts were to see if she could clear up her mind.
Newt had decided to take a midnight stroll around his house to check if everything was alright and if every beast was comfortable, especially the Zouwu and the Niffler, one for being new and the other for having an injury. As soon as Newt reached the basement he realised the he did not have much to worry about as Tina was now leaning against the Zouwu who was quite comfortably lying behind her, while the Niffler decided to prop himself in Tina’s lap while she caressed his back and slept soundly.
“Hey,” she whispered as not to wake up the Niffler on her lap “sorry, I kind of took posse of your basement, I just needed a place to think through everything that happened.”
“That’s absolutely fine,” The British man smiled before getting closer and standing over her, slowly exchanging a hand for her to take “Do you want to walk around a little” he said before quickly adding “Only if you want, of course, I would never, want to put you in a situation where you felt an obliga--”
“I would love to walk around the basement with you, Newt,” Tina quickly interjected his rembeling, knowing that if she let him go on they would be there for much longer than needed.
Tina slowly placed the Niffler beside her as she accepted Newt’s outstretched hand and got up, with the Zouwu encircling herself around the NIffler to produce warmth to the injured creature.
Newt smiled at his creatures actions before offering Tina his arm - one that she gladly took - and started heading to the deeper enclosures, ones with long grassy paths and trees so tall that it felt like you were walking through a forest.
“You know what I love about working with different animals?” Newt asked, not making eye contact nor looking at her at all, instead choosing to keep his head propped forward and his eyes fixed ahead.
Tina had a few guesses on what Newt’s answer could possibly be but chose not to guess them, instead opting to stay silent with only the smallest of nods to indicate that she was listening and wanted him to keep talking.
Newt, having seen her nod from his peripheral vision, went on with his short speech “I love to see the unity that they can have with each other, the way that they quickly adapt for survival, how they keep their family close choosing to protect their loved ones at all cost and, especially, how they lack the horrible easiness that we humans have on judging one another.”
He, in his part, finished the speech with such love, such passion that Tina couldn’t help but feel a little bit of happiness overtake her body as the last few words came out of his mouth. The man standing beside her had a deep understanding and love towards his creatures that Tina had never seen in anyone before and she could not imagine how anyone was able to look past that, how anyone would be dumb enough not to quickly fall in love with this wonderful and caring wizard. But, maybe, just maybe, the second absurd fact was a good thing, for Tina anyways.
After a few more minutes of walking Tina heard Newt take a deep, steady breath before slowly bringing them both to a halt in front of a big beautiful tree with long branches that stretched out over their heads and leaves so green that they seemed to glow under the artificial moonlight. Tina felt her heart skip a beat as Newt turned to her and grabbed a hold of both of her hands as he tried his hardest to make eye contact with her, failing a little at times but trying nonetheless.
“Do you know why I told you about my favorite things about working with creatures?” She heard Newt ask before shaking her head no and waiting to hear what sort of response the Magizoologist would come up with. “I told you that because I see you the same way I see my creatures,” he said before quickly cutting himself off, trying to explain what he meant with that “well, not in the sense that I have to take care of you, of course, because I know that you are very capable of taking care of yourself and everything I just meant that— that—“ Newt paused not knowing what to say and having to re formulate his thoughts as Tina patiently waited, knowing that he had a certain difficulty to convey what he was feeling.
“What I wanted to say” he started again, regaining his breath and once more trying to make eye contact with her so that she would know that every single thing that came out of his mouth was the absolute truth. “Is that...” his eyes fell to the ground, taking a second before they fell upon hers again “that you, Tina, are a lot like my creatures. You nurture people, helping them when they are injured, you will do anything and I truly mean anything for your family,” he knew that Tina was upset about Queenie, knew that she blamed herself for what happened to the young, blonde witch but Newt would not let herself take all the blame, he knew that what happened to Queenie was no one's fault. She was, after all, persuaded by Grindelwald's charismatic skill and silver tongue. Most people, especially people that were in the state Queenie was, would not resist him and his ideas that he bends to the person’s desires.
Even Though Newt’s words about family were nice, Tina could not take them to heart, the hurt she felt on her heart still persisted and it didn’t look like it was going to go away any time soon. So, instead of saying anything Tina just simply looked at him, waiting to see if he was going to say anything else,
“But what I think is one of your most incredible traits,” he continued, this time giving Tina’s hand a slight squeeze as he forced himself to keep on making eye contact to truly get the message through to her “is the fact that you do not judge people with ease, a trait, that in my opinion, is very important, especially to someone in your line of work”
Tina blushed slightly as Newt finished talking, this time being the one to avert her gaze. “Thank you, Newt,” she smiled at the ground shyly as she felt his calloused hand touch her chin, lifting it up so she would meet his eyes.
“I don’t think you understand how special you are, Tina,” he now had a slight worried gaze as he moved his hand from her chin to her cheek, Tina leaning into his touch as he did so “you are the most amazing women I have ever met, actually, scratch that, you are the most amazing human I have ever met and I want you to know just how special you are to me but I don't know how to make you understand”
Tina looked at him, tears on the verge of escaping, “I think you do, Newt” she leaned in closer as he slowly did the same “I think you at least have a slight idea of what action would show someone that they are special like no other.”
Newt’s hand slid from her face to her hips as the other enveloped around her from behind, reaching up her back, bringing them closer together “I may have a slight idea, yeah,” he whispered when their faces were inches apart, their breath being felt on the others face as their eyelids hung loosely closed.
Tina smiled a little before fully wrapping her arms around Newt’s neck, one hand resting on his shoulder while the other played with his hair. Once their lips finally touched, their eyes coming to a full close, Tina could feel, what could only be described as, small explosions happening inseid her stamach. So this is what it was like to kiss someone you could see yourself falling in love with, she thought, trying to get as close as possible to Newt with as much body contact as she could.
Both adults had never felt such an intense feeling like the one they were feeling now, they never felt so much passion and want being put into one single kiss, a kiss that, even though it only lasted about a minute, showed just how much they meant to the other, both pouring their hearts and souls into this one, single kiss.
As the kiss came to an end and the lovers slowly separated, they took a minute to catch their breath and take in their surrounding as they slowly regained their senses.
Tina was the first to open her eyes, watching Newt catch his breath while taking a second to look over every feature on the wizard’s face, counting every freckle and looking at every spot, from his hair, now pushed back and even messier than before, to the tip of his nose finally landing on his full lips, swollen and red from the kiss they had just shared.
“Would,” she heard Newt say as he slowly opened his eyes “would it be too soon to ask if you wanted to be my girlfriend?” his hopeful, shy eyes looked between her and the floor as he nervously held her in place.
she giggled at his question before leaning in and giving him a slight peck “I think we have waited long enough, Mr. Scamander” she responded and, before he could get another word out, she leaned into him, capturing his lips once more, this time making the kiss more passionate and deeper than before.
Newt begrudgingly broke the kiss before looking at her as she slowly opened her eyes once again, both trying to catch their breath for the second time in a few minutes. “So, is that a ‘no, it’s not too soon’ or a ‘I will be your girlfriend’?” he asked as Tina chuckled slightly.
“Both,” she said, leaning her head down so that it rested against his shoulder, lightly nuzzling his neck “now, is that all you wanted to ask?” she smirked against his neck before kissing it lightly, sending a shiver down Newt’s spine.
The poor man didn’t know what to do as she slowly dropped more and more kisses down his neck “Tina” he moaned, throwing his head back while giving her more access “to-- um to answer your- you-- your question”he struggled to get words out as the flutter of kisses made its way up from his neck his earlobe “I am done speaking”
Tina reached the corner of his mouth before quietly whispering against it “then be done speaking, Scamander”
As soon as those words left the witch’s mouth, Newt quickly grabbed a strong hold on her waist again before quickly crashing his lips against hers, pushing her against the tree, making it so she was stuck between himself and the wood.
Tina felt the air being flung out of her body as Newt crashed her against the tree, deepening the kiss in the process. He licked her bottom lip, trying to gain access to her mouth and, once she happily granted that access, he started moving his hands around her body, trying to discover every single detail that she had hidden there.
The kiss slowly became less intense as their blood cooled down, letting them go back into a calmer form of kissing, their lips moving in sync as Newt slowly took his weight off of Tina.
They separated for one last time as they looked at eachother, shy smiles forming on both of their faces. “Well, that was…” Newt started, not knowing how to finish his sentence as he still held onto Tina.
“Wasn’t it?” Tina decided to call back to their time in the harbor, him leaving to return to England and her staying in New York but this time, as the words were said, there was no doubt about their feelings towards each other.
Newt laughed before slowly untangling himself from her, his hands coming back to rest on his side as Tina grabbed her wand and with a quick flick of the wrist, fixed both her hair and clothes. She looked over at Newt, knitting her eyebrows together slightly before a sly smirk appeared on her face.
If Tina thought that Newt’s hair was messy before then she didn’t know what to call the state of his hair now, there was no telling what direction his hair was supposed to be in and, if she was being honest with herself, she quite liked the idea that she had been the one to do that to him.
Newt, noticing Tina’s looks, was quick to blush as he grabbed his wand out of his pocket but, instead of smoothly grabbing it to fix his appearance, the wand got stuck to the edge of the pocket making it fall to the ground, Newt going quickly after it in hopes of catching the wand. Making a successful catch, he propped back up to his full height stretching himself before doing the same wrist movement as Tina and putting both his clothes and hair back into the place they were supposed to be.
Tina had to cover her mouth with her hand to stop herself from laughing, a gesture that did not go unnoticed by Newt who smiled in return “I can be quite clumsy, can’t I?” He said ducking his head as another blush made its way to his already red cheeks.
“I find it to be one of your most amusing quirks” she smiled lifting his head before giving him a small peck on the lips “I quite like all of your quirks if I’m being honest” she smiled as the blush that was already pleasant became darker becoming quite apparent against Newt’s white skin underneath. “I do think it would be wise for both of us to head to bed though” the American witch said, grabbing Newt’s hand before dragging him up the stairs as he nodded slightly.
They were quick to make their way up the stairs, not looking at each other nor talking, both being too busy with their own thoughts.
The next day went by in a haze, both Tina and Newt agreed to keep the news of their courtship to themselves since there were two people in their group who had recently lost the love of their lives, Theseus and Jacob, one to death and the other to war, both to Grindelwald.
A week passed and Tina’s team finally arrived. Her team was made out of handpicked aurors with Tina leading since she was the only one who faced Grindelwald twice. The aurors were both chosen by Tina herself and Piquery, they were tested on loyalty, skill and resistance. Among the team of aurors was, of course, Achilles Tolliver and, even though he had a rough start with Newt - some things might have happened that are best not spoken -  they did form a good friendship, with Newt realising how important Achilles’ friendship was to Tina. The group was made out of 5 integrants, the youngest of which was Henry Greyson, a young 20 year old who had promise and was also Tina’s trainee before she left for Paris. The other two aurors were May Brig and Lance Millon, May was 32 and Lance, being the oldest, was 35. The decision to keep the group short was mutual between all, as they decided that each country would have 5 members in the front lines working with MOM and around Europe, which was the place Grindelwald seemed most fond of, to capture the dark wizard and bring some of his followers, if possible, back to their side or just towards questioning.
On the next week of the MACUSA aurors arrival, Jacob walked into Newt and Tina, both were in Newt’s room and didn’t notice the no-maj approaching as they were pretty… busy… Let’s just say that Jacob was both surprised and blushing once he saw them - they had their clothes on, you pervert - the baker quickly spread the news around, much to Newt and Tina’s dismay but they figured that it was better sooner than later and maybe not having to hide their relationship anymore was a good thing.
Months passed and then years and before Tina knew it, she was standing in her room as she slowly got ready to be married off to the man of her dreams, to the one who could make any day better and always knew what to do to make her happy and to imagine that she would soon be walking down the makeshift aisle they had made in his suitcase to greet him and later become his wife. That thought made her heart fill up with all kinds of happiness.
She still felt like something was missing though, something important, or, to be more exact, someone.
1 year after the Paris events, they had finally found Grindelwald and with him, Queenie. The battle that took place that day was gruesome to say the least, so many aurors died and just as many followers but, as one of the followers made movement to shoot Tina with a deadly curse, she saw Queenie, her sister, the baby she helped raise, jump in front of her and be struck with the curse that was meant to kill her.
She had quickly struck the follower with her own curse, sending him flying backwards as she fell down with her knees hitting the ground right beside where her sister laid. Tina was quick to grab the young blonde… well.. she was supposed to be blonde but the blood that was rapidly escaping her head had turned her once beautiful blonde curls into an auburn color, sticking to her head as if it was glue. she had cried for her sister to say something, to wake up or move or show some sign, any sign, of being alive. But Tina knew that her once lively and bubbilly sister was nomore and the body that laid in her arms was nothing but a shell of what once was.
Tina grabbed her wand and quickly retouched her makeup to what it was before as she heard a knock on the door, telling her someone was waiting and that she was probably going to be late to her own wedding.
“Come in” she said already having her makeup fixed and checking in the mirror to see if there was anything left that needed fixing, making sure everything was ready, she turned around to see Achilles standing by the door while wearing a grin on his face.
“You look magnificent, Teenie” he whispered as he slowly gave her a tight hug “Newt is a lucky man” he let go of her, looking down at his own wedding ring from his marriage a few months ago, where Tina was his ‘best man’ or ‘best women’ as he said when asking her if she would do it. His wife was a good woman and she had developed a good friendship with her, with the both of them inviting her and Newt over to their house to chat and eat some of the baked goods Jacob had provided.
“Are you ready,” he asked, giving her his arm to take.
“I think so” she responded as she slowly grabbed the extended arm and they began walking towards the ceremony “Thank you for agreeing to walking me down the aisle”
“It was no problem” he smiled down at her “thank you for asking me”
The pair slowly made their way into the case, opening it and carefully climbing down before opening the shed’s door and stepping outside to be greeted by their friends and family. As Tina passed through all the friends her and Newt had managed to make along their journey, friends that had eventually become like family to the both of them and, as she looked forwards to see Jacob smiling while holding a nervous but happy Newt beside him, she couldn’t help but feel pride in the family she made and joy along with excitement at the adventures that she and Newt would have ahead of them, this time as a married couple.
“Are we ready to start this?” Theseus asked from his perch as he got ready to marry them.
“Absolutely.”
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serena-waldorf · 5 years ago
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🏳️‍🌈 pride q&a snagged from @veroniquemagique
❤sexuality: Bisexual baby 
🧡pronouns: she/her
💛gender: female
💚relationship status: Single AF sadly lol 
💙celebrity crush: Just one? LOL. Jane Fonda, Hillary Clinton, and Nicki Minaj are like the top 3 right now lol. And I guess Drake and Mahershala Ali for men lol. Felicity Huffman used to be in this category but yeah, having mixed feelings about her currently obviously (but she did really turn me on in a horny angry way in the 2 episodes of When They See Us that I’ve watched so far 🙈 Even though the character she is portraying is despicable,  lawyer + villain = hot I guess lol 🙈) 
💜best friend: Well my BFF forever and ever from high school Lizz, is straight sadly lol but I have another really close friend from high school, K, who is bi as well and so is her sister and her super soon-to-be husband. But K and I and her sister and fiance don’t really talk about bi/queer issues or topics too much. 
In terms of a close friendship where we talk about Bi/Queer stuff all the time, then @zestycactus is an amazing friend! She is always there if you need to talk through problems/issues but overall she is just a really nice person, a kind friend, and a fun person to chill with 😊 Gotta give her a lot of credit for helping me to be able to accept my bisexuality a lot more over the past year and a bit, just from our talks and by always being able to come along to queer events or programs with me when able to and for bringing me along to my first one ever over a year ago 😁 
Side note: If you’re LGBTQ+ and struggling with your sexuality or even if you’re not and you just want to be around other queer people or make new queer friends, and you have an (LGBTQ) community centre around you with support groups or networks that hold regular meetings and events, I would highly recommend just from personal experience! And if you don’t have access to something like that because I know not everybody does and you ever want to talk, about LGBTQ issues or not and you just want to chat, my ask box and inbox is always open! 
💙when did you come out: I must have figured it out for myself when I was 12/13/14, no later than 14 for sure, I was probably 12/13 ish. Then I randomly came out to a few classmates around then on an overnight school trip that year (7th grade). And then came out to a lot of (if not most) friends over the course of high school and kept coming out to friends throughout university. And I have been coming out ever since lol. As any queer person knows,  it never ends. I think I only told my mom a few months ago, like almost a year ago now? It was last August/September ish, I’m gonna say? And yeah, still have a lot of coming out to do to a lot of family still but its a “cross that bridge when I get to it” situation, if I ever got into a serious enough relationship with a girl and wanted to introduce her to family but right now, its a long shot of that happening any time soon lololol. 
💚first person you came out to: It was over 10 years ago so the memories of that time period are fuzzy but I’m gonna say it was random classmates I was sharing a room with on an overnight school leadership camping trip thing, one of them was a close friend but an on and off again friend (it was a super complicated friendship/situation throughout high school and middle school actually lololol) and thinking back on it, I have no idea what made me come out to them, then and there because I wasn’t really friends with the other 2 girls and one of them was a huge bitch lol. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud to somebody while I was coming to terms with it? 
💛first gf/bf: My high school BF from near the end of high school and into most of our first year of university before we called it quits. Meh, it wasn’t the best relationship for a first relationship, it was sweet and nice but it shortly became more of a friendship than a romantic relationship. I won’t go into details here because I’ve been rambling enough in this questionnaire lol (feel free to message me tho for more info if you’re really  that intrigued lol) but at least it taught us that we do make better friends than we did BF/GF, I don’t even know if either of us was TRULY interested in the other one or if we were just dating each other for the sake of having somebody while almost everyone else around us in our friends group at the time was coupled up and we didn’t want to feel left out *shrug* I think the latter is true for me tbh as bad as that sounds. But even though me and him have our differences in more ways than one, he is a really nice and funny guy and his mom taught him to treat girls well, even just friends lol and we do still meet up every few months for a dinner or a movie or whatever and its nice to catch up every once in a while with him. (LOL, I still wrote a book in this answer when I said I wouldn’t). 
🧡ever had a crush on a straight person: Like all my crushes lol. Even with straight men I’m usually rejected or they are already taken and I had a bad experience with a crush in my last year of university so since then, I’ve just tried not to develop hardcore crushes on people besides little crushes that I know won’t go anywhere. And even though there is one straight friend I will always crush on, I know she is straight and nothing will ever happen lol so I respect that and would never tell her my feelings because it would probably ruin the friendship and I cherish the friendship aspect too much to do that. 
❤fallen for a friend: I think I answered this in the last question. YES lol. It’s never ended well for me except for my first BF. I definitely don’t make moves anymore or let feelings be known. But then again, I haven’t had a serious crush on anyone since my disasterous experience in 4th year of university lol. And I talked about my crush on my straight friend in the answer to the previous question as well. 
💛best LGBTQ+ friend: @zestycactus , reasons why are listed in the best friend question above. And my best friend K from high school as mentioned in the best friend answer above also, but both being LGBTQ isn’t really a factor in our friendship, its just a coincidence lol. 
💚person that made you doubt your sexuality: I don’t think any one specific person ever has but those “How do you know you’re bi?” “How can you be in love with both?” kinds of questions do get tiresome. I don’t really get them aimed at me specifically by any one person luckily but just hearing and seeing those sentiments in general in everyday life or hearing stories from other people is tiresome and annoying. And not so much doubt but I have one straight friend who I love and I know she is just trying to be a supportive friend and ally but she seems really INSISTENT on me dating women, creating dating profiles on dating apps to meet women specifically, she’s always getting on my case about getting on dating apps etc and while I appreciate the support lol and I am more attracted to women than men (and I did express that I would prefer dating girls right now) but like I’m bi, I’m not ruling out men completely yet if I do decide to make dating profiles and I end up clicking with men or one specific guy. I honestly will probably end up with a girl, or I want to see what dating girls is like, but like I said, men aren’t completely out of the equation for me either because anything can happen lol. Life is unpredictable. I feel like if I date men or meet a guy somehow this friend is gonna say something about me dating women and ask why I’m not with a woman and that she thought I wanted to date women etc. So that does worry me about dating men if it ever happens but this friend is very inadvertently pushy in general (in her own weird supportive way lol) so I just gotta roll with it and appreciate the support, and if I end up dating a guy in the future who makes me happy, and she is “upset” or confused or something, I just gotta remind her that its my life, my happiness and my choices at the end of the day. 
💙proud of your sexuality: Hell yeah 10/10, I’m so happy to be bi, even though I still have bad days, doubts, insecurities, worries, my questioning periods etc, but the pride outweighs those feelings for the most part most days. And like I said, going to bi support groups and queer events really helped the past year and a half. 
💜comfortable with your sexuality: Getting there. A lot better than I was a year and a half ago. I’m getting more and more comfortable and proud every day. I’ve definitely been on a journey for the past year and a half of self-love, mindfulness, weight loss, and just building better habits and patterns in general. Not just in terms of my sexuality but I took a lot of risks this past year and a half and not all of them have paid off yet but even though I have the odd bad day still like we all do,  I am in a much better state of mind in general than I was a year ago, 2 years ago, especially 3 years ago. And as I’ve talked about in this questionnaire, support groups for bi people really helped with becoming more comfortable with my sexuality, and helping me to embrace it more over the past year or so. 
💙describe yourself: Coffee addict, foodie, pop culture lover (especially movies and TV shows lol), fun-loving, kind, caring, hardworking, creative, silly, great friend 
💚LGBTQ+ hero: Idk, Sarah Paulson and Lily Tomlin? I’m sure I could answer this better after giving it more thought but its late. 
💛favorite part of being LGBTQ+: The friendships/connections I’ve made in the queer community, both online on social media and in real life through the support groups, queer events etc. Feeling like I don’t have to fit into the neat little heteronormative box. And this is shallow but thank god I was born with the ability to appreciate and love women both physically and intellectually because hey, women are hot af, let’s be real lol. 
🧡advice to younger you: It’s okay to like girls, there is nothing wrong with it, being bi and loving women is beautiful. Love yourself some more. You deserve credit for everything you’ve gone through and overcome. You’re amazing and you’re going to do great things with your life, meet and befriend amazing people one day, and accomplish things you never imagined. 
❤️do you ever wish you weren’t LGBTQ+: No? Why would I? As Lady Gaga would say, I was born this way lol. I mean yeah there’s hard times, difficult moments, hard things about being queer but being bi specifically carries its own hardships. And like I said, the good outweighs the bad. There’s hard days, moments, questioning periods etc but I wouldn’t change things for the world. Thank God I’m not straight lol. If only for the fact that I love women too much lmao. NGL, I often wonder what its like for my straight female friends who don’t see women the same way I do lol and who don’t see them in a romantic sense if that makes sense. It’s probably a whole lot easier to be straight but I really wouldn’t change things if I could. 
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gimmeanaplease-blog · 6 years ago
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From Glass Slippers to the Glass Ceiling: 15 Ways Disney has Improved in the Face of our Cultural Shift
Disney has had a long and complicated history with being outdated. Sexism and racism plague the older movies. However, in the past decade it’s been clear that with the shift of public views Disney has been making a run to catch up with the times.
1. Disney’s First African American Princess
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Disney’s shift into the new culture all began with their first African American princess. Tiana began as a hard working woman who simply wanted to achieve her dream of owning her own restaurant in New Orleans. With an upbeat attitude and more than a few bumps in the road she meets her prince, falls in love, and defeats the evil witch doctor.
Tiana remains, however, as hardworking as she started out when pursuing her dream. Even when she marries Prince Naveen she doesn’t use her newfound privilege to get her restaurant. Rather she uses the money she’d earned from years working as a waitress in a cafe as well as the allies she’s met along her journey to buy the abandoned building which she envisions as her future restaurant. With her new husband she renovates the place and opens the door to her new life.
2. Breaking Their Own Rules
Merida was Disney’s next great leap into Disney breaking their mold of the standard princess. Merida was messy, ungraceful, and she hated having to act “like a princess”. She’d much rather stuff her face with food, sport her unruly natural hair, and go shooting archery in the woods. Throughout the movie she participates in activities that her mother initially deems unfit for a princess.
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In the ultimate act of defiance of the movie, Merida takes off her headwear containing her hair, rips her dress for mobility, and shoots three arrows into their marks in a competition men were engaging in to become her fiance. She obliterates her competition and shows that her hand in marriage isn’t to be won.
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3. A Strong Independent Woman
In the past Disney has had heroines that don’t need a man to save them. From Belle to Mulan we saw princesses who saved the day all on their own. Yet time after time we saw they always ended up with their man in the end. Along comes Brave, a story of a young Scottish princess to be betrothed by her family. Merida, however, loathes the concept and in her own act of rebellion she deems that she will be competing for her own hand.
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Through a convoluted plot involving bears and family drama at its finest, Merida finds herself at the epicenter of having to repair her broken relationship with her mother. The central conflict isn’t her engagement to a man she just met, it was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back. Even at the end of the movie when we’re expecting the stereotypical happily ever after, Merida remains single. “There are no intimate evenings, sparkling jewelry, dazzling gowns (Merida, in fact, hates her formalwear), sweet gestures or smart give-and-take dialogue that foreshadow a final, emotional kiss. The suitors are simply buffoons, not fit to brush Merida’s flowing red hair, much less match up with her archery skills” (Zakarin, 2012). To add onto the quote from The Hollywood Reporter, Brave didn’t even star any men that weren’t Merida’s family. She was the first true Disney princess to end up without a man at the end of her movie.
4. Prince Smarming
During the climax of Disney’s biggest hit in years we’re expecting a Prince Charming saves the day moment. Anna is about to succumb to a frozen heart so a collective breath holds as Prince Hans leans in to deliver True Love’s Kiss in order to reverse the curse. Then through a head spinning twist, we find out that Hans had been our villain all along.
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In Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist she details the trials of “Prince Charming”, “The man in most fairy tales, Prince Charming in all his iterations, really isn’t that interesting. In most fairy tales, he is blandly attractive and rarely seems to demonstrate much personality, taste, or intelligence. We’re supposed to believe this is totally fine because he is Prince Charming. His charm is supposedly enough” (Gay, 2014). The writers of frozen use this subconscious ideal of what audiences expect of Prince Charming to disguise his true intentions. In reality Hans wants the kingdom and is willing to kill both princesses in order to achieve a spot on the throne.
5. Maleficent and the Me Too Movement
Maleficent is a movie that came out in 2014 depicting the villain of the same name’s side of the famous story Sleeping Beauty. Starring Angelina Jolie, Maleficent is a tragic hero of sorts as when she was young, she fell for her best friend - and future king - Stefan. Stephan’s father, however, had sent his son off to kill Maleficent as she is the queen of the faeries and keeping him from conquering the land. To prove he’s killed Maleficent, Stephan must deliver her wings to his father. Unable to bring himself to kill her, Stephan gives her a sleeping potion while they are together and cuts off her wings in her sleep.
Sound familiar? That is because this scene is meant to depict a rape scene. Writer Linda Woolverton talked openly about the scene with the press, “I had done some research, and the biggest surprise is that she’s a fairy, not a witch. I’ve always wanted to do a dark fairy story. Then I watched that scene where she curses the baby, and I’m thinking “well if she’s a fairy, where are her wings?” Suddenly it was “boom. Lightbulb. Oh! It’s the wings!” Then I worked backward from there to create the Stefan relationship” (Krischer, 2014). The portrayal of the scene is vastly important to culture as only 3 years later, the Me Too movement brought to light the ever present normalization of sexual harassment and assault that women face every year. The fact that an action is so prevalent in society that it has an allusion in a Disney movie is both heartbreaking and incredibly telling.
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6. Queer Eye for the Bad Guy
Disney has had a long history of queer coding their villains. The most basic definition of queer coding is using giving characteristics, behaviors, and actions to their characters so that the audience may read them as gay. Often these are stereotypes such as the Lefou's flamboyance, Hades’ sass, or Ursula’s likeness to a drag queen. Now Disney attempted through their movie to depict a gay character in it’s live action adaptation of Beauty and the Beast. However it seems their belief of depicting a gay character is turning Lefou’s flamboyance from a 7/10 to a 12/10. There was even a brief scene of him dancing with a man but if you blink you could miss it. Rani Barker describes how this act is harmful to the LGBT+ community, “The problem, as queer people, is this continues to treat our stories, our yearnings, and our experiences as unspeakable. Something to be whispered, scrutinized and doubted. Keeps it closeted right in front of our faces” (Barker, 2016). It feels like a spit in the face for the first “gay character” in Disney to be such an obvious trove of stereotypes.
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All is not lost for Disney’s representation in the LGBT+ community though. Andi Mack, a television show on the Disney Channel features a character that has openly admitted that he is gay and actually approached an arc where he had to come out to his friends. He is not a throwaway character either, he is one of the main characters on the show. Hopefully this character on the small screen will pave the way for proper representation on the big one.
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7. Zootopia’s Depiction of Race Relations
Zootopia on the surface appears to be the classic Disney talking animal movie on the surface but underneath the detailed animation and so many puns is an actually complicated statement on race relations. The animals of Zootopia are divided into two types, “predator” and “prey”. As the plot develops Judy, a rabbit cop, and Nick, a civilian fox, discover that there are a series of attacks developing where predators are suddenly “going savage”. As Judy took the lead in the case, she must be the one to talk at the press conference despite them still not knowing the true cause. Chaos ensued as an all out battle broke out between predators and prey.
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Not very subtle huh? Charles Pulliam-Moore describes how this scene in particular applies to our society today, “As much as the scene is grounded in the world of Zootopia, it's shot through with elements of many of the real-world police-run press conferences that have followed in the wake of the dozens of high-profile shooting of black people in recent years. Though Judy admits that the ZPD doesn't know the specific details of the case, reporters focus on the few problematic soundbites she feeds them while taking in visuals of rabid, muzzled animals that the police have detained” (Pulliam-Moore, 2016). Both in the movie and in real life it’s media that digs into certain words and forces a fear fueled narrative to cause prejudice in people’s day to day life. Though Zootopia doesn’t quite rise to the ranks in favor of a child’s story happily ever after, it was bold of Disney to try to scale that height in the first place.
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8. Realistic Bodies for Women (Finally!)
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The proportions for female bodies in Disney has been a rough ride for decades. Since the release of the first princess movie, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Disney has long regulated the eurocentric ideals of beauty with large eyes, full lips, and a ridiculously tiny waist. Momentarily it seemed like we’d seen a shift via Nani Pelekai in the 2002 movie Lilo and Stitch. Nani defied the Disney standards of beauty with a large nose, a darker skin tone, and even a more realistic stomach. Yet as the next princess movies rolled around, they resorted right back to their usual bullshit.
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The tide shifted yet again in 2016 with the release of another Hawaiian based film, Moana. Unlike Lilo and Stitch, Moana was a titular film for the company as it was it’s next big “princess movie” after their big hit Frozen. Moana was the soon to be chief of her tribe and she sported everything the princesses of the past hadn’t. Moana had wild hair, a darker complexion, realistic muscle tone for the activities she participated in (climbing and sailing), and much more realistic proportions. Moana brings forth a body type that much more girls see when they look in the mirror than those looking at Ariel or Jasmine.
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9. The Importance of Female Solidarity in Feminism
Yet another climax of a film yields an entirely different result. This time the movie we focus in on is Moana. She and the demigod Maui have traveled across the ocean to return the Heart of Te Fiti. They are stopped by a lava monster Te Kā. When all seems lost Moana discovers that not only is Te Fiti missing but Te Kā is not who she appears to be at all.
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It is Moana who realizes that Te Fiti and Te Kā are one in the same. Valentina Boré remarks on the importance of solidarity in feminism perfectly reflects Moana’s thoughts as she returns her heart “If we don’t try to understand what our other fellow feminists have gone through, how can we really make a change for anyone at all” (Boré, 2015). She makes the connection that Te Fiti had her heart stolen from her by Maui and thus lost herself. Through Moana’s kindness and comfort for another woman, she is able to save her island.
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10. Real Portrayals of Diverse Cultures
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Moana and Coco are two of the most recent additions to Disney’s animated movies. Both contain great amounts of respect towards the given culture shown. It is clear that a great amount of research went into both of these films, including featuring songs in the native languages. In Moana the song “We Know the Way” features a large portion in the Tokelauan language while a lot of the songs featured in Coco are Spanish.
Coco, especially is a feat to be admired. Director Lee Unkrich early expressed concern of rejection as he, himself, is not hispanic or even latino. However, to combat this Unkrich and producers opened the film to Latino cultural consultants for criticism and the ability to toss around ideas to better improve the film. This was met with initial outrage by the company since, for the longest time, production was meant to be kept under tight wraps. Producer Darla K. Anderson commented in an interview, “We don’t normally open up the doors to let people in to see our early screenings. But we really wanted their voice and their notes and to make sure we got all the details correct” (Ugwu, 2017). To go against traditions in order to assure that they got the movie correct shows true care and love for their story and what it will mean for other people.
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11. The Voices of Coco are All Latinx
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Coco was a movie unlike any before it. The Pixar film depicted a Mexican story of a young boy Miguel getting trapped in the land of the dead when he tried to connect with his estranged ancestor who shared his love for music. Coco was based around the holiday Dia de los Muertos and surrounded an entirely Mexican family.
What sets Coco apart from other films of Disney’s past is it’s determination to have an entirely latinx cast. Everyone from the lead Miguel to the featured character of Frida Kahlo to unnamed correction officers are played by latinx actors. Even Princess and the Frog, who had a mostly colored set of characters as well didn’t mimic this action.
12. What Makes a Princess?
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Disney, like many other industries, has poked fun at itself more than once. This typically involves a playfully jab at character’s affinity to burst into song. Tangled and Moana alike have teased the song filled musicals but none have been so ruthless to Disney’s archetype of a princess as Wreck It Ralph 2.
Vanellope stumbles upon a trailer full of all the princesses we are familiar with, claiming that she is a princess as well. Naturally, they have to question her. In detailing the scene writers describe, “As the princess encounter evolved, the writers played off the fact that not only do Disney princesses often get kidnapped, but that they are forever gazing into “important waters.” (In their attention to detail, one princess fan at the studio noted to Ribon that Mulan does not look into a puddle, but rather a horse trough. Robin’s enthusiastic response: “Even better!”) The scene also skewers the reliance on a lumbering hunk to solve a damsel’s thorny problem” (Cavna, 2018). While Disney is only making these jokes in jest of their past and how each of the princesses have something in common, it’s nice to see that they’re acknowledging Disney’s untold rules of what makes you a princess. It takes Vanellope affirming that people say her problems were all solved because of a man for the princesses to accept her as so. Ironically, this is the one point that connects all of the princesses together. 
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13. Stories About Mental Health
Outside of physical representation Disney has created a rich environment for representation for mental health as well. Inside Out was a movie that told the story of physical manifestations of a girl’s emotions having to deal with making her happy after a cross country move takes her away from familiar surroundings and friends. Throughout the movie it shows clear depictions of Riley, the girl who houses the emotions, experiencing what many people can recognize as depression.
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The standout of them all seems to be a Disney creation that isn’t even a full length film. Before every movie Disney airs a Pixar short. This separate story can hold just as much emotion as a full length movie but sometimes the message can be missed completely based on racism alone. Before Incredibles 2, a short called Bao aired. Bao featured an Asian Woman who became the mother of a dumpling that came to life. However, as the dumpling grew older he became more dismissive of the mother while she became more desperate to hold onto her dumpling child. At the climax as the dumpling tries to leave she eats him. Now, any person with half a mind can recognize this as a metaphor for empty nest syndrome. This is a feeling of loneliness and depression that a parent may feel when their child leaves the home. It is revealed at the end that she was reflecting on her relationship with her human son after all. Given, she did not actually eat her son but more than likely got into a nasty fight to push him away.
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Yet, some people simply didn’t get it. Rather than recognizing the story as a mother and son fighting and coming together once more; people saw a dumpling and a woman with Asian features and completely shut down. The thing is, they could’ve told this story with any race of mother and son and food of their given area. “Our cultural signifiers might be different, but basic human emotions are an experience that spans all of us as humans on this planet” (Jitchotvisut, 2018). Any mother who cares for their child would experience empty nest syndrome but the creators of Bao chose to make this character Asian and they didn’t need a reason to do so either.
14. Putting a Woman in Charge
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After John Lasseter was asked to step down amid accusations of misconduct a new head of Disney Animation was needed and there was only one man for the job, a woman. By the end of 2018, Jennifer Lee would become the new Head of Disney Animation. Only joining in 2011, Lee quickly gained wins under her belt such as being a co-director for Frozen, being a co-writer for Wreck It Ralph, and being a key component to Zooptopia.
Lee marks a change from Disney’s initial brand of vapid misogyny and truly shows how the brand has taken a turn for the better. In response to her promotion she replies, “My hope is to support the incredible talent we have, find new voices, and work together to tell original stories. The great films of Disney Animation — the films I loved as a kid and my daughter has grown up loving — are magical, timeless, and full of heart, and it is our goal to create films that carry on and grow this 95-year legacy for future generations” (Berger, 2018). We should be able to look forwards to seeing these new groundbreaking stories with a woman at the lead of the studio.
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15. Using Their Other Brands to Reinforce this New Image
Along the years the empire that is Disney has bought out many other companies. The cultural shift has created a wave that rippled these industries as well. Star Wars and Marvel alike have seen a move towards the society Disney began reflecting in 2009.
Star Wars revived after 10 years of remaining dormant with an all new story with a female at its center. Not only that but 3 of the other new heroes are all people of color: Finn played by John Boyega is an African American man, Poe Dameron played by Oscar Issac is Guatemalan, and Rose Tico is played by Kelly Marie Tran is a Vietnamese woman.
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Marvel’s shift took more time but isn’t any less prevalent. Perhaps the most apparent is the bold move to have an almost entirely African American cast for the 2018 film, Black Panther. With a world of research on the culture backing the project the film broke records and earned Marvel it’s first Oscar.
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Disney backing these projects reflect it’s turning tide and the world is more than supportive.
Sources
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udnursingsa2019 · 6 years ago
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Final Blog
As I sit on the plane at 4AM eating my Aero bar (a South African delicacy), tiny moments of the last five weeks keep popping into my head. I think about entering JFK airport feeling nauseous and anxious about leaving the country for so long, seeing familiar faces but not having a clue if I would become close friends with any of them. I think about arriving to the Team House at Noordhoek and being greeted with Jeremy’s speech — he told us we could not save Africa but if we could make a difference in one person’s life, we are doing something worthwhile. I think about being apprehensive for the first clinic day expecting to feel a little lost, until I realized the sisters are some of the kindest people ever and are so willing to teach/ask for help at the same time. I think about the look of pure joy on a group of teenage girls’ faces after some peers and I taught sex/relationship-education at school — they’d always had the questions but never had the opportunity to talk to someone to get the answers, and seeing that we made some of that difference makes my heart warm. And I think about the town Soweto, and a celebration between two different cultures as we sat in a circle with local adults and had a productive conversation about the effects of apartheid and global politics, and afterwards we had a dance party. It’s that “connected” feeling that makes me think we have been making positive impacts on the people we’ve met because the people of South Africa have absolutely touched our hearts forever. Many of them live by the phrase “Ubuntu” which means “I am because we are” — they learned it from the animals who work together as packs — I think that just shows the full circle of how Africa is the one of the best places on earth.
Our last night was difficult but cathartic and necessary. After our last delicious safari dinner we all went around in a circle and stated our roses (our favorite parts of the trip), our thorns (least favorite) and our buds (what we can grow from). Many of the roses included the community days where we bonded with people of all ages and helped out in schools or kitchens/workshops, such as the reusable pads training day where we got to work together with so many women. Others mentioned the Soweto township day or their best experience in clinical (like when Carly V. and Sara delivered a baby and placenta!), and some mentioned their favorite excursions like skydiving. Thorns were when things got emotional — sometimes it’d be something funny like treacherously hiking Table Mountain or getting a stomach bug, but others rightfully wanted to let out emotions about something they’d seen in clinical that they wish they could’ve done more for, such as the group that experienced the death of a preterm baby born at home who probably would have lived if the clinic had the appropriate resources. Other thorns included the guilt we feel when we realize how privileged many of our lives are, and the overwhelming lack of knowing what to do in response when we see how many people need help. I believe this trip made many of us second-guess our career choices and what we want to make of our lives; for certain this trip has inspired lots of us to give back more and if we can’t go back to Africa and help the people there, there are ways we can help at home. Many of us turned our thorns into buds because lots of the bad things we experience are ways to make us grow. But lots of us also mentioned for buds the friends we have made and just the beauty of the world and all the people in it, as we have seen the strength in the people of South Africa as well as the strength in each other. I have made lots of new friendships that I have no doubt will last throughout our last semester and post-graduation. Though we’re a group with a bunch of different personality traits, we bring out the best in each other and have such a fun dynamic that never gets old — I can’t count the amount of long car rides and late nights (even though we would wake up at the crack of dawn almost every day) spent talking and laughing for hours on end with my new friends. It really is so special to have these meaningful bonds during our last year as nursing students, because we need each other!
There are many people worthy of “thank you’s” and I will start with ourselves, because we were the ones who decided to apply to go to South Africa and had the courage to actually go through with it, and for me it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Thank you to my peers for making this trip so meaningful and unforgettable, through all the laughs and tears. I really am so proud of everyone for making this the best experience possible and constantly lifting each other up. And I’d also like to thank my parents and all the other parents who allowed us to go on the trip (we know it wasn’t easy) and helped out with some expenses.
I’d like to give a shout-out to our drivers, Roy and Sibusisu, who turned out to be more than drivers — they became friends. We will miss Roy’s sarcastic sense of humor and charm, and we’ll miss Sibu’s quiet, sweet presence. They are two of the most hardworking men and seriously deserve a medal for boundlessly dealing with 30 21-year-old girls!
Rowan and Bari have also been blessings to us — we wouldn’t have survived the trip if it weren’t for their constant direction, reliability and support. Rowan made sure everything went smoothly at all times and was in a tough position to be TA as a senior; we give her lots of credit for all she could help us with through her L&D/cultural knowledge and experience. Bari has been an inspiration to all of us, as she’s lived, worked and volunteered in South Africa before and we can see first-hand how wonderful of a human being she is/has become through her experiences. So thank you guys!
Lisa — thank you for making this trip happen and for being willing to take so many of us — I know it’s not easy to lug 30 students to another continent. I give you so much praise for making this trip happen year after year, building upon what you’ve learned from past trips but always introducing new ideas. You have always been someone we can look up to and this trip further proved how you truly inspire us to be the people/nurses that we want to be — not what a structured nursing program/basic American society tells us to be. You’ve taught us to follow our guts and our dreams and that life is too short to only do one kind of job in a place we don’t feel we’re thriving. You also have successfully spread the word about Mother Nature and natural childbirth — I would trust any of us to teach about or facilitate a physiologic birth and it’s all thanks to you.
And last but not least, thank you to Jeremy. When I met Jeremy, I had heard good things and he seemed nice and cool and funny, but I didn’t really think anything would come of him being there besides being our tour guide. But he was so much more than that. He became a close friend to many of us. He worked towards making this trip a life-changing, monumental experience for everyone. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be able to dig deeper and work to find the meaningful takeaways behind all the experiences we’ve had. He encouraged the group to really spend time together and support each other, because he knew we’d need it. He was a shoulder to cry on when we had a hard day, and a person to run to when we had a funny story because his laugh can just make our day. His life story and his presence are so uplifting that he’s touched each and every one of us and has inspired us all to be ourselves, make good choices that build our ultimate destiny, and cut out all negativity. Thank you for making us all better people, Jer. We truly will never forget you and can’t wait for you to come to the U.S. one day.
Now we’re all exhausted with puffy eyes from crying either last night or at the airport saying bye to Jeremy, but we’re excited to see our families.....and not quite ready to go to school in just a few days. Luckily we have a whole group of us to lift one another up during this period of post-study-abroad depression, but after a few weeks our lives will probably return to normal. So we must continue for weeks, months, years down the road to remember what it felt like to be in Africa, reflect upon the connections we built, and never forget the lessons we learned. We’re back in America, but Africa has never left us.
-       Annie Sienrukos <3 
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thevirgomen · 6 years ago
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Tips On How to Date A Virgo Man
New Post has been published on https://virgomen.net/tips-on-how-to-date-a-virgo-man/
Tips On How to Date A Virgo Man
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Dating a Virgo man can be easy and enjoyable once you have gained his trust. However, it can also be a disappointing and painful endeavor.
Particularly if you do not understand the characteristics, likes and dislikes of the Virgo earth sign.
Therefore, if you want to win the Virgo man, it is important to understand his personality.
For instance, Virgo guys are generally, intelligent, hardworking, practical, and can also be labeled perfectionists.
If they allow you to get to know them, you will also find them to be down-to-earth and honest.
I say if they allow you to get to know them! They are cautious, and will not open up if they feel they may be hurt emotionally later on.
An in-depth character assessment of a Virgo man can be found here.
It is also important to enlighten yourself about the qualities that a Virgo man wants in a woman such as honesty, independence, and confidence.
In addition, Virgo men often have very high standards not only for themselves but also for others.
With that in mind, below are some top tips for dating a Virgo man. Please keep reading.
Things to Know When Dating a Virgo Man
First impressions matter
If you want to keep the Virgo man interested in you, it is important that you make a good impression on him.
For instance, Virgo men admire women who have a natural look. Minimal makeup, clean simple hairstyle, and clothing that are not too flashy.
Therefore, when going on a date with a Virgo guy, it is important that you take care of your appearance. He is looking for an honest reliable woman, not one that wants to be the center of attraction.
A Virgo guy has an honest outlook on life and expects the same from a partner.
He is not into psychological mind games of trying to raise his interest by being late for a date for instance. He will take it as a snub rather than be desperate to see you.
Related article: How to be attractive to a Virgo man
Be yourself
Virgo men admire honest women. Therefore, to win the Virgo man, it is important that you show him you have an honest character.
It can be very tempting to pretend when you are head over heels for a Virgo fella.
However, you do not need to pretend that you are interested in something when you are not.
You also do not need to play games or lie to be a person you are not, just to impress your Virgo crush. Your Virgo crush will certainly withdraw or pull away if he realizes you are being insincere.
So, from the get-go, it is important that you let your Virgo crush know the true you.
Related article: Signs a Virgo man likes you
Stimulate his mind
Virgo men are intelligent. What’s more, they admire smart women.
So, if you want to stimulate the heart of a Virgo male, it is important that you stimulate his brain.
It is important that you familiarize yourself with topics that your Virgo crush is interested in.
You will gain his attention and respect if you show even a little knowledge of his pastimes.
Doing this will engage you both in interesting conversations which will enhance the relationship.
In other words, you need to prove to your Virgo crush that you have the wit and ability to keep up with his intellectual side.
Do not be clingy
Excitement about meeting a Virgo male who has all your preferred qualities can make you lose your independence.
However, it is important to note that a Virgo man in love wants an independent woman.
If you want a Virgo man to commit to you, it is important that you avoid being clingy or needy.
You need to prove to your Virgo crush that you have the ability to balance a relationship with your interests, hobbies, and career.
Suffocating your Virgo man with constant attention will make him lose interest in you.
Take it slow
Patience is a key factor when dating a Virgo male, particularly after you have communicated your interest in him.
Virgo men are serious and cautious. They love taking their time before deciding if they want to spend the rest of their lives with a particular woman.
Therefore, it is important that you let your Virgo crush do the chasing. Pushing or rushing him to commit to you before he is ready will make him pull away.
It is important that you give him time to know you and to get more comfortable around you.
Give him space
Virgo male is a workaholic. So, your Virgo date is likely to work overtime or work from the house during his off days.
With that in mind, it is important that you learn to respect his work.
Giving him a hard time when he is trying to complete important tasks can make him perceive you as someone who is unsupportive of his career and life goals.
Therefore, you should avoid complaining even when he does not show up for a date on time.
Your understanding and tolerance for what your Virgo partner loves will certainly make him feel loved and appreciated.
Places to go on a date
Virgo men are adventurous and they love new experiences. What’s more, they also love good food.
During your first dates, you can find out about his favorite foods, which you can prepare for him on a later date.
So, if you want to impress your Virgo man, you can propose to go with him to venues that he has an interest in.
These could range from fairgrounds which bring out his adventurous side to museums that will appeal to his intelligence.
Making suggestions like this will assure him of your interest and he will feel comfortable and drop any barriers.
As explained above, a Virgo man has a very cautious nature when meeting new people. He may well be interested in you but will not show it until he is sure he will not be rejected.
You need to find ways of placing yourself in positions where he can talk to you on a casual basis.
Remember, a Virgo man hates to be chased so flirting and eye contact usually does the trick.
Related article: How to flirt and make eye contact
Parting Shot!
The above tips for dating a Virgo man will not only guarantee you a second date but also keep your Virgo man forever interested in you.
If you would like to find out more about a Virgo man’s characteristics you can read my review of Virgo Man Secrets Here. This book was written by leading astrologer and relationship expert Anna Kovack and answers questions about the complex Virgo.
Please message me if you need any more advice in finding lasting happiness with a Virgo Man.
My joy is in giving
Charlene
https://virgomen.net/
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